Too Far?
by cultnirvana
Summary: Complete! AAMRN. When, in a moment of weakness, two friends go too far, can they ever regain the trust they once had in each other and themselves. PG13 for mild/moderate sexual content and adult issues
1. Chapter 1

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Ages : Ash - 18, Misty - 19, Brock - 23.  
  
  
AAMRN. When, in a moment of weakness, two friends go too far, can they ever regain the trust they once had in each other and themselves.  
  
  
Okay, I'm mainly writing two other fics a the mo, but this idea has been buzzing around my head for about a year so I decided to try to write it. Have quite a bit written, but wanna see how things go before I get too focused with it. It's more fluffy than I normally write. I think that is maybe why I'm not a 100% sure of it. But it will get much more emotional and more like some of my other fics around chapter 3. So, if ya like it, pleeeeaaaassssee tell me :-). Thanks, cultnirvana._  
  
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_**Chapter One**_  
  
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Misty threw herself upon her bed, glad to finally be home. It had been yet another disastrous night, another date that had went dreadfully wrong, another 'Can't we just be friends?' false platitude. It was the forth time this month alone. It was beginning to get ridiculous. Maybe she should just forget about the whole dating scene altogether. She knew she couldn't find what she desired there.  
  
With a long sigh, she pulled out her small blue gem earrings, placing them upon her bedside cabinet. As she was about to bring her hand away, she noticed the framed photograph next to where her earrings now sat. She picked it up and looked at the two people contained within it.   
  
It was her and Ash on the day he had been declared a Pokemon Master, almost a year before. He looked so handsome, his long ebony hair tussled in the wind, his baseball cap in his hand where it couldn't obscure his perfect features. He had his arm wrapped around her shoulder, which had caused her cheeks to glow a bright red.   
  
They were still best friends. He worked for the Pokemon League now, based in Indigo Plateau, but instead of living in Pallet, or even in Viridian, when she moved back to Cerulean, he decided to move to the city as well. He had told her that he couldn't stand not seeing his closest friend everyday, and that, with his Pidgeot, it only took him a few minutes to get to the plateau anyway. And since they had moved to the big city, they had lived their life that way, always, at least, sharing lunch together everyday without fail.   
  
She, of course, was undoubtedly devoted to him. She did love him after all. Not only as a friend, but much more. However, he had no idea. She was too afraid to tell him, worried that it may destroy the cherished friendship they shared.   
  
He was the reason for tonight's disaster. Every time she went on a date with another man, she ended up doing something wrong, subconsciously damaging any chance she had with them. She kept pushing the men away, and after one date, they didn't want anything to do with her. It wasn't their fault, of course. They all seemed like nice guys. But they just weren't Ash.   
  
However, she didn't want to live the rest of her life alone. She wanted to eventually get married and have kids, but how could she settle down with another man when she was still in love with Ash, and doubted those powerful feelings would ever leave her. And there was no way she would marry without love. But, then, where did that leave her? _It would leave me as a spinster for the rest of my life._   
  
She sighed once again, no closer to a solution to her problem.  
  
  
******************  
  
  
Ash knocked upon the front door of the small residence next to the Cerulean gym. After a few seconds, Daisy opened the door.   
  
"Hi, Ash," she greeted with her usual high-pitched, chipper tone. "Come in." She moved away from the entrance way, allowing him to walk into the hall. "Your looking for Misty, I guess?"   
  
"Am I that predictable?" he laughed.   
  
"Well, I don't exactly think you're here to see me, Lily or Violet. She's up in her room." She moved closer to Ash and almost whispered, "Watch out. She, like, had another bad date."   
  
"Hmm. I know the feeling."   
  
She tutted, shaking her head. "If both you guys are having problems with your love lives, why don't you just date each other."   
  
The notion made a subtle blush rise over his face. "Ah, I really don't think that would work."   
  
"Why not? She may not be as good-looking as me, but she is pretty cute."   
  
"She is beautiful," he uttered, almost under his breath, before raising his volume to it's normal level. "I'd just be...awkward if we did."   
  
"Ah, but you do fancy her," she teased. He was never able to avoid this when he came to Misty's home. Whether it was Daisy, Lily or Violet, one of them would always taunt him about his feelings towards Misty. But then, he guessed, it really did show that they cared about their baby sister, even if they hid it the vast majority of the time.  
  
  
*****************  
  
  
A rap at the door echoed throughout her room, bringing her out of her own little world. Sure it was one of her sisters, she slowly sat up and placed the frame back onto the cabinet, before half-heartedly asking, "Who is it?"   
  
"It's me, Mist," she heard a far from unfamiliar voice answer.   
  
As soon as she heard it, a smile spread across her face. She quickly looked into the mirror on her vanity unit, making sure the little make-up she wore was still straight. "Come in, Ash."   
  
He walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind him while looking towards his friend. She was wearing a dark blue dress that highlighted her curvaous figure perfectly, and her hair was elaborately arranged upon the top of her head. She looked beautiful per usual. "All dressed up with nowhere to go, ne?"   
  
"I guess you could say that." She sighed again, laying back once more upon her bed. "I'm never going to be able to settle down."  
  
Ash laughed. "What are you talking about? You've got plenty of time to find a man. You're only nineteen."   
  
_I've already found the man I want_, she thought. "Remember, my twentieth birthday is but two months away. I'm starting to get old."   
  
"Twenty isn't old."  
  
"It feels it sometimes. You'll understand in a year or so." She paused for a moment, a trace of despair regaining it's hold upon her once again. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong. After one date with a guy, they never call back."  
  
Ash sat next to her on the bed, placing a friendly arm around her shoulders. "Well, you are quite a bit of work, my dear."  
  
Angered by his comment, but amused by his tone, she elbowed him hard in the chest. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Well, your loud, cynical, stubborn-"  
  
"I'm not stubborn!" she interrupted.  
  
"Point proven," he chuckled.  
  
She nudged him again, making the same area even more tender. "Hey."  
  
"Ow. I think I forgot violent." He softened the tone of his voice. "But you're also sweet, sensitive, cute." He looked deep into her blue-green eyes. "And when you meet Mr. Right, he will be willing to spend the time getting through that hard shell of yours to discover the true you. Any man not willing to do that doesn't deserve someone as wonderful as you."  
  
She blushed, moved by his words. "Thanks."  
  
Reaching up to play with a loose strand of red hair, he brought her a little closer to him. "You'll meet a guy. Don't worry."  
  
"You're so sweet. Why can't I meet a guy like you? You're about the only descent guy I know." She looked away from him, embarrassed at what she had said. "Ah, well, you and Brock and Tracey of course," she corrected.  
  
"There's lots of nice guys out there, and until you find one, you'll have me."  
  
"Thanks." She sat there for a minute, before a terrifying thought came to her mind. "Ah, that girl, Christy was it. How did your date go with her?"  
  
"Ah," he began, awkwardly scratching his head. "I told her I would call her, and, well, that was a week ago."  
  
Averting her gaze away from his view, she smiled slightly, and swallowed the feeling of guilt that was intensifying within her. "Ash, that wasn't nice."  
  
"I know, it was rude of me not to, but well, we seemed to have nothing to talk to, nothing in common. And, to tell you the truth, I think she was more interested in going out with me because of my position rather than for me myself. It's hard for me to trust the women I date because any of them could easily be doing the same. You're one of the few women in my life that I know where I stand with. I feel comfortable with you."  
  
She placed her head upon his shoulder, subtly inhaling his natural scent mixed with aftershave, aftershave, if she wasn't mistaken, she had bought him for Christmas the previous year. "Did you just come over here tonight to make me feel better or something? Because, if you did, it certainly worked.  
  
"I'm glad," he told her, gently placing a tender kiss upon her forehead. "Don't like to see my Mist depressed."  
  
Her heart skipped a beat at that. His Mist. What did he mean by that? _Please Ash_, she thought. _Don't say that type of stuff unless you truly mean it. You can break my heart so easily._  
  
The two continued to sit in that position for several minutes, both secretly content. But Misty knew she had to get up. Her high-heeled shoes were beginning to pain her feet, and the mascara she wore had started to irritate her eyes. Regretfully moving from his side, she stood, making her way to her bathroom, but not before turning back round towards him, saying, "I'll be back in minute. I think it's best if I put some normal clothes back on."  
  
  
******************  
  
  
Ash turned the key in the lock to his apartment, pushing the door closed after him, causing Pikachu and Bayleef to take their eyes from the TV and refocus them upon their trainer. "Pika pika chu chu (Over at Misty's, again)?" Pikachu teased.  
  
Ash reddened slightly. "Ah, yeah." He had been spending a considerable amount of time with her lately, almost every minute he found to spare. It sometimes seemed like he was rarely in his own home. He was always at work, at hers, or out on the town with her.  
  
Pikachu and Bayleef gave each other a knowing look, making Ash feel incredibly awkward and embarrassed. Ash had only told Brock about his feelings for Misty, and though he was sure his Pokemon would accept the fact that he loved her, he was still unwilling to share them. He guessed the reasoning was that it was something just too painful to communicate. It had even been hard for him to confide in Brock, his closest male friend.  
  
He threw himself upon the couch next to his friends, and turned his concentration to TV. But the flashing images couldn't keep his attention. His mind continually drifted back to Misty. He was so in love with her. He dreamed of being with her, to be able to hold her, kiss her, and for her to love him back. But he knew that was impossible. They were to close as friends for anything to happen now.  
  
It hurt him so much to see her everyday and not be able to tell her how he felt. And to see her date other men pained him even more, however, every time the dates went wrong, he felt so happy. That made him feel even worse, that he was taking pleasure from her pain. He knew it wasn't right, but he couldn't help it. If she wasn't with anyone else, that would mean that he was still the most important person in her life, and he didn't want to be deprived of that status.  
  
Ash sighed dejectedly. He had no idea what to do, whether to say something to her or not, to take a chance or to go on with life always wondering what could have been. He stood and began to pace to his room. "I'm going to bed, guys. See you in the morning."  
  
"Pika/Bay (Night)," they called to him as he closed his door. The Pokemon turned to each other, depressed visages upon their faces. They could sense Ash's feelings for his friend, both being closer to him than any of the other Pokemon, but they were at a loss at what to do about it, how to help him with his problem. All they could do was be there for him if he needed them.  



	2. Chapter 2

_Yeah, you liked it. Well, don't worry. Have gotten really psyched about this story now, so I'm gonna finish it and I'm currently putting a lot of time and effort into it. Should be about 6 chapters long, and will try to have a new chapter up every week or two. This chapter, like the first, is a little short, but they hopefully will get a little long as they go along._

_ Enjoy, and please review. Thanks a lot, luv Karen._

  


**Chapter Two**

Misty walked out of her lecture hall, throwing her bag over her shoulder. She placed a hand over her mouth, concealing a yawn. Three hours was really too long for one class. It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy the Pokemon medical course she was enrolled upon, but sometimes it could get a little too boring for her liking.  
  
"Hey, Misty," Kaori called, making her way through the throng of people on the Mall. Misty had met Kaori on the first day of university, and the two had instantly clicked. Misty hadn't really had a close female friend since she was a little girl, and was glad to now have someone to talk to about those topics she was sure neither Ash nor Brock were interested in. "Wait up." She ran up next to her friend. "So, how was your date last night?" she asked, excitedly.  
  
Misty sighed heavily, but put on a brave smile. "You don't want to know, believe me."  
  
"Oh." She paused. "That bad, eh?"  
  
"Really bad."  
  
Kaori looked up at her friend embarrassed. "Sorry for asking."  
  
Misty shrugged. "It's okay. I'm used to it by now." The two girls walked down through the Mall for a few minutes before she broke the silence, suddenly remembering something. "Speaking of dating, how is it going with Fran? How long have you guys been together? Over a month now I'm sure."  
  
Kaori blushed. "Eight weeks tomorrow, and..." She pulled a hand through her almost luminescent, purple hair, eagerly wishing to continue. "...he told me he loved me."  
  
Those few words hit Misty with the force of tsunami. She just stood there for a moment, stunned in shock. Yet another one of her friends was in a serious relationship. First Tracey had moved in with his girlfriend, then Brock had gotten engaged. And now Kaori. Everyone seemed to be settling down already, while the most serious she had ever gotten with a guy was a second date. The only other person she knew who seemed to have as little luck when it came to love was Ash, and she was sure he would be snapped up soon. The way girls flocked to him made her sick. She was just glad that Ash had realised that the vast majority of them were just after him due to his position.  
  
Noticing her friend's forlorn expression, Kaori placed her arms around her. "I'm sorry."  
  
Misty shook herself out of her wonderings, returning the embrace. "It's okay. Believe me, I'm really happy for you guys." Linking arms with her friend, the two began to walk once more.  
  
Still worried about her emotional state, Kaori asked, "So, how about we go get lunch, maybe talk about it?"  
  
At that, Misty's previous mood cleared, and a small smile rose over her lips. "Sorry. I'm meeting Ash."  
  
She sighed. "Why did I even ask?" Kaori shook her head and laughed. "You've got it so bad, girl."  
  
"What?" Misty stopped once again, turning to her friend, her face betraying her shock.  
  
"Please, just tell the guy you're in love with him already."  
  
I don't know why I even try to hide my feelings from her. Am I truly that transparent? she contemplated. "I can't, Kaori. He's my best friend. And..." she hesitated, beginning to walk again. "...he doesn't feel the same way, I'm sure of it."  
  
Kaori raised her volume, irritation creeping into her voice. "Misty, open your eyes. The guy is utterly devoted to you. He meets you everyday, no matter what. He is so affectionate with you, always hugging and kissing you."  
  
Misty thought about that one. They were very comfortable within each other's arms, and they had shared a few friendly kisses, but nothing more than pecks on the lips. Although those physical embraces had gone no further than friendly touches, they always made her quiver within. She tried to hide the blush spreading across her face.  
  
"Everyone, when they meet you both, thinks you're dating," Kaori continued. "And to top it off, the guy moves to Cerulean for you. Not back to Pallet to live near his mum, not to Viridian to be close to his job, but to an apartment a block away from the gym. What other proof do you need?"  
  
"I know, to people it may seem suspicious, but we're just friends." Misty began to giggle. "Although I'd love us to be more." The grin that her lips displayed almost reached from ear to ear. "Oh, Kaori, I don't want any other man. I want him so much. I want to spend every moment of the day with him. I want to marry the guy, have his kids."  
  
Kaori removed her arm from the link, placing it around Misty shoulder. "You definitely have got it bad."  
  
"I know. How am I supposed to be looking for 'Mr. Right' when I'm already in love? I date these other guys, but they are just nothing compared to him. The only way I can go on with my supposed love life is to somehow forget the emotions I hold for Ash, and that is something I neither wish to nor think I can do." A disgruntled noise escaped from her mouth. "What the hell am I going to do? He is the only one I want. When you love someone so much, you just don't have the ability to even feel a faction of those feelings towards another."  
  
"I can understand that."  
  
They continued to walk out of the university grounds, into the main streets of the city, and to the little cafe Misty and Ash always shared lunch in, spending the whole way giggling and chatting.  
  
They looked towards the table outside the sandwich bar. Ash was already there, in his usual seat, sipping a mug of coffee.  
  
"So, are you going to tell him?" Kaori tormented, a little too loudly.  
  
Misty shushed her. "Are you crazy?! Of course not."  
  
Kaori sighed. "Well, I hope you know I'm never going to give up teasing you about it."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Well, I'll leave you to lover boy. I'll see you on Monday."  
  
"Bye, Kaori." As her friend walked away, Misty moved towards the table. "Hey, Ash," she greeted him cheerfully as she sat opposite him.  
  
His expression instantly brightened when he looked up into her happy face. There she was, the person he considered the light of his life. Her hair thrown up into two loose buns upon the top of her head, several little bangs of intense red filtering down to frame her delicate features. As usual she wore a baggy pair of combat trousers matched with a cute little top that just about revealed a tantalizing hint of her belly. Whether she was wearing an elegant dress or her everyday clothes, she always looked stunning to him, though her physical attributes meant nothing to him when it came to her heart and soul. "Hi, Mist. So how were classes today?" Ash asked her, his attention full.  
  
"Okay. I'm finding Pokemon physiology a little difficult, but I'll be alright. I'll just have to really study."  
  
"I'm sure you'll past with flying colours. You're really smart."  
  
"I think you have more confidence in me than I do. So, how's your day been like so far?"  
  
He shrugged. "Mmm, okay. A little boring."  
  
"Didn't think the life of a Master could be boring."  
  
"Well, it's not all battling, you know. It's mainly paper work, meetings and all other manner of drearier stuff."  
  
"Not exactly what you signed up for, eh?" she laughed.  
  
"Not exactly, but it's still worth it."  
  
"Hi. What can I get for you?" the waitress asked the two.  
  
"Ah, I'll have a tuna sub and a cappuccino," Misty replied.  
  
"No problem. And you sir," she said, turning to Ash.  
  
"A ham and cheese sandwich."  
  
"Okay, I'll have them out to you in a few minutes."  
  
"Thanks," the two returned as the young waitress walked away.  
  
"A tuna sub," Ash said. "Why don't you try something else? You eat that everyday."  
  
"Well, I like them, and I don't really eat meat except fish."  
  
He tutted. "You're a water trainer to the bone. And so predictable."  
  
"Hey," she cried. "At least I'm not dense."  
  
"Runt."  
  
"Ignoramus." The two began to giggle. "Were our fights always that idiotic?"  
  
"Maybe we should ask Brock and Tracey. They were always stuck trying to prevent us from killing one another."  
  
"We've grown up a lot, although we still have the occasional row. I can't believe the way we used to act. People must have thought we hated each other, although we were best friends." Misty paused for a moment, remembering those old days, a blush rising from her pale cheeks. "Don't laugh, but I kinda had a bit of a thing for you when we met. The bike wasn't the only reason I followed you. I guess I was a little intrigued. You were this cocky, stubborn kid who knew nothing about Pokemon...but had such a big heart. And you still intrigue me in that way." She looked down at the wooden table, embarrassed that she had just revealed something so personal, purely out of the blue.  
  
Ash reddened as well. "Oh. Well, if we're being honest, I had a bit of a crush on you too. You were cute when you were a kid. Scrawny, but cute." He paused, then looked up at her, a cruel smile decorating his face. "Not anymore, of course," Ash teased. He noticed that familiar evil glint creep into her eye. He knew if he didn't apologise, he was in serious trouble. "Kidding. Kidding. Please don't kill me."  
  
"You better have been kidding or you'll have an appointment with my mallet."  
  
"Don't worry. You've grown into a very attractive woman, and you don't need me to tell you that. Sure you've done a bit of modelling and all. And guys are always chasing after you."  
  
"They don't chase after me for very long." Her smile diminished.  
  
Ash reached over and placed his hand upon hers. "Hey. No depressing talk today. We should be enjoying ourselves."  
  
"Sorry. It's just that I'm nearly twenty and I've never been in even a semi-relationship with a guy. I haven't even had my first romantic kiss. And it kinda seems like all of our friends are finding the loves of their lives, and I've got left behind somehow."  
  
The waitress placed their meals upon the table before making a quick retreat. The two friends sat in silence for several moments, mulling over their own thoughts, comfortable in each other's company.  
  
"Ash?"  
  
"Yeah," he replied, taking his attention away from his sandwich.  
  
"Have...you ever, ah?" She began to blush again, embarrassed by her question.  
  
"What?"  
  
She shook her head lightly, waving the question away. "It doesn't matter."  
  
"It does. You can ask me anything."  
  
"Yeah, but it's maybe a bit too private."  
  
"Well, then, if it is, I won't answer."  
  
She slowly raised her head, awkwardly looking into his hazel eyes. "Ah, have you ever...slept with anyone before?"  
  
He was slightly taken aback by the question, but answered it nonetheless. "My longest relationship didn't even last a week. What do you think?" She just stared at him for a moment, unsure of what he was insinuating. He picked up upon her confusion. "No. I'm still a virgin. Farthest I've ever wanted to go is kissing. A lot of guys think it's 'unmacho' to wait, but I guess I'm a little old fashioned in that way. I want my first time to be with someone I love. And if that's the only person I'm ever with, all the better."  
  
She smiled. "Me too."  
  
He paused for a moment, wondering if there was anyway to bring Misty out of this recent down spell, before he hit upon a novel idea. "How about we forget about our problems and go out to a few clubs together tonight? Have a bit of fun? It is Friday, after all. I don't have work and you don't have uni tomorrow."  
  
She smiled. "Okay. Sure. I could do with a little fun."


	3. Chapter 3

_Here ya goes guys. Another chapter. Things are beginning to pick up now. I'm uploading it on this special day for a reason; it's my last day on earth as a teenager. As of 2am GMT I'm 20. The dreaded 20!!!! Oh, I'm getting old, hehe. I guess that's why I made Misty the same age in this. But I really wanted to load this today so sorry for the wait. I hope the next chapter will be up sooner, but it isn't finished yet, so I'm not making any promises. Hope ya like it.  
  
Please read and review, luv cultnirvana.  
_  
  


**Chapter 3**

  
  
Ash took another slow sip of his beer, trying to keep his attention upon the golden liquid and frothy head, but his interest into what was happening ten meters away kept distracting him. He didn't want her to think he was spying upon her, but he needed to know what was happening over there. Forgetting his drink, he turned slightly, not enough to really be noticed but enough to observe the two.  
  
Misty stood near the dance floor chatting to a tall, handsome young man. She laughed as he seemed to tell her a joke. He studied the man's features, all smug, self-statisfied.  
  
He shook his head. He hated feeling this way, becoming so angry towards people whom he had never met, just because they had an interest in her. It was stupid. He was too possessive of her, too unwilling to see her with anyone unless it was him. He couldn't stand the thought that any one else could see the Misty he did.  
  
But, how could another man understand her as well as he? He had been the only one to see her true nature, the scared little girl she could be. No one, not her sisters or her other friends, knew the things about her he did. The thought of another man potentially seeing that private side of her scared him so much. That was a privilege he wished to solely own and the thought of losing it made him sick to his stomach.  
  
_ What a great friend I am!_ he exclaimed inwardly. _I'm actually happy when she's sad. God, I'm so damn selfish._  
  
Although his vision was still focused in the opposite direction, Ash detected the presence of a young woman by his left side, and from her swaying movements he could tell she had probably had one too many. That suspicion was confirmed when she began to speak. "You're Ash Ketchum, right?" the blonde shouted, just managing to make her voice heard over the hullabaloo the band was creating.  
  
"Yeah," he answered out of reflex, his eyes still fixated upon Misty and the fair-haired man. He really couldn't be bothered with this. He just wanted to be alone with his beer and his melancholy.  
  
The girl giggled for a moment, before trying to shrug off her drunkenness and act 'sophisticated', something she entirely failed to achieve. "Well," she hiccupped. "How about you buy me a drink?"  
  
Ash sighed, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible so he could go back to the solitary of his thoughts. "I'm sorry. I'm busy," he told her, trying to be polite, but his annoyance overriding that wish.  
  
"Oh, okay," she told him rudely before walking off, finding it hard to balance upon her high-heels.  
  
He brought his full attention back to Misty and the young man, noticing that they were saying goodbye to one another. As she began to walk over to where he sat at the bar, he forced a smile. "Get a date?" he asked her, trying to hide the trepidation in his tone.  
  
She laughed. "On, no. He's a guy from my course. He was just wanting to check something with me."  
  
"He seemed to be flirting with you?"  
  
She shrugged. "I think he was, but I don't care."  
  
"You're not interested in him at all? I thought he was the type girls would find cute."  
  
She sat on the seat next to him, placing her now empty glass upon the bar. "Maybe to others, but he's not really my type."  
  
He felt a wave of relief wash over him. "You want another drink? I'm buying."  
  
"Mmm, I'm not really in the mood for anything alcoholic tonight so maybe just an orange juice."  
  
"No problem." As he ordered the drink he noticed her gaze turn to the dance floor, an expression of longing overtaking her. "Why don't you go and have a dance?"  
  
"I don't have anyone to dance with," she began, before turning to him once more, "unless you'd like to join me." Jumping off her chair, she grabbed his arm playfully and attempted to pull him onto the dance floor.  
  
"You know I can't dance," he complained as she managed to drag him to the threshold of the wooden square.  
  
She let go of his arm and looked at him with those big blue eyes, a mixture of excitement and disappointment showing. "Oh, come on," she pleaded. "For a start, I don't think your lack of skill will show tonight. We're the only two relatively sober people here," she laughed.  
  
He couldn't help but give in. She hadn't seemed this genuinely happy for a long time, and he wouldn't allow himself to hurt her when it could easily be avoided. "Okay. But you owe me one."  
  
"I'm exhausted." As soon as Misty entered Ash's apartment, she collapsed upon his sofa, talking off her shoes. She swore she would never wear platforms again. A pair of old trainers were much better.  
  
"You want some coffee?"  
  
"That'd be great, Ash."  
  
He moved over to the kitchen area of the main room, turned on the kettle and prepared two cups. As he shuffled spoonfuls of coffee and sugar, he looked over at her massaging her feet. "You really over did it on that dance floor," he laughed.  
  
"Sorry, but the band was really good, and you know how I get when I'm having a great time." She lifted her legs onto the sofa, sprawling herself out, stifling a yawn.  
  
"God, you look exhausted. Why don't you stay here tonight? We could reminisce about the good ol' days, or watch a movie or something."  
  
"I'm not sure. If I did stay, my sisters would probably tease me for ages after about."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Realising she'd made a slip, she attempted to disguise it. "Er. Well, you know my sisters. Staying at a guy's apartment. They would think there was something going on."  
  
"Well, you shouldn't worry about what they think. How are you and your sisters getting on, anyway?"  
  
"Well, it's a lot better than when I was a kid, but we do still get on each other's nerves. I'm actually thinking of trying to get a place of my own, to have a little space. Well, if I can afford it. I don't make that much money at the gym, and university tuition is murder. I'm going to be in debt for years after I graduate."  
  
"Maybe you should find someone to live with, then."  
  
"Nah. I don't really have anyone I could move in with and I live practically for free at the gym, so I better stay there. I guess that's where I'll be stuck until I graduate and start working, or met someone...if I ever do, which I highly doubt."  
  
Hearing the depression in her tone, he decided to change to subject. He couldn't stand to see her think that way about herself. It had hurt him so deeply in the past. He couldn't understand why she had such a poor self-view, when she really had everything going for her; intelligence, looks, kindness.  
  
But he knew a lot of it came from when she was younger. Like him she had never been a member of the popular crowd and was a common target for bullies. She had always seemed strong enough to fend such people off with her intense temper and strong left hook, but he knew that was just a façade. Those events had really eaten her up inside. And he was still sure that, to a certain point, they still did. That was why she was reacting so badly to something that most people her age wouldn't care about. "Well, do you wanna stay tonight?" he asked softly. "I know the gym isn't that far, but it's after one in the morning. It would be safer. You can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch."  
  
"I don't want to deprive you of your bed."  
  
"Well, then we'll both sleep in my room. The bed's big enough, and we've had to sleep in the same bed before."  
  
She reddened slightly at his offer. "Well, okay. But I don't want you kicking me in the middle of the night again. You're not the most sedate sleeper."  
  
He chuckled, remembering the fact that the last time they shared a bed he woke up in the middle of the night with a black eye. "I'll try not to." The kettle clicked. Ash poured the hot water and some milk into both cups, then sat next to Misty on the sofa, placing the coffee mugs onto the glass topped table in front of them. Ash looked into her face, noticing that her sullen facade had returned. He placed his arms around her.  
  
Misty looked into his face, seeing nothing but concern on his handsome features. He was the one she could count upon to know exactly what she was feeling at any moment in time. He had helped her through those times when her depression and self-loathing had come so close to the bone that she had actually contemplated taking the easy way out. He was the person to wise her up when she had once refused to eat for over a week.  
  
She remembered that night, now just over three years ago, when he had discovered the truth, how panicked he had become. How he had begged her to eat something, anything, and how, when she refused, he had broke down in fits of tears. That was the night everything turned around in her head, and she was able to beat down the demons that had sought to destroy her for so long. She knew then that, as long as Ash was by her side, she could get through everything life had to throw at her. It had been at that moment, seeing him so distraught and raw over what she was doing to herself, that she realised she was in love with him. Truly, madly and deeply.  
  
Although since then she still had periods of depression, they had never affected her so much. She had someone who cared about her, and that was the most important thing in the world. She relaxed in his embrace, knowing that he was the only soul she could fully confide in and trust whole heartily. "I'm sorry. I guess I haven't exactly been good company lately."  
  
"Don't worry about it. I'm your best friend. I know how you're feeling and I'll be here for you no matter what."  
  
"I know. You always were, through those bad times." She swallowed heavily, trying to put those memories behind her. "It's just...I had this whole plan, you know. To travel and train for a while, then come back to Cerulean, go to university and take over the gym-"  
  
"You've done that," he interrupted.  
  
"Yeah, but, that was only the beginning. I wanted to get married when I was about twenty-five, have a little baby about two or three years later, and then maybe another a short while after that. I wanted to be a great mum with a successful career and a husband who was utterly devoted to me. Just like my own mum."  
  
_ That's the life I've dreamed of having with her_, he thought.  
  
She sighed. "But on the timescale I had planned out, I would have to met my future husband soon. I'd like to be with a guy for a few years before we got married."  
  
He looked down, a little depressed. "You'll get the life you want. You deserve it," he said quietly, struggling with his own thoughts.  
  
"You alright, Ash?"  
  
He looked up at her, faking a smile. "Yeah."  
  
"I know I'm still young, and..." A tear fell from one of her aqua orbs. "And it may sound stupid, but I want to settle down. I want to fall in love. I've dreamed about it ever since I was a kid."  
  
Ash pulled her a little nearer, tilting her head up by her chin. "It's not stupid. I feel the same way."  
  
Ash wiped away the tear from her cheek, looking deeply into her eyes. He could see her need for comfort, so he moved closer to her, placing his lips gently upon hers. It was just a friendly kiss, the same as they had shared many times before. However, this time Ash felt something more in the sweet caress, and from the expression on her face, Misty felt it too. He kissed her again, with a little more passion, and felt her return it with equal fervour. They held the kiss, feeling it's intensity build and build with every passing second. Nothing except the softness of one another's lips, and the emotions the simple action was provoking, occupied their minds.  
  
Ash took his lips from hers, bringing his hand up to touch Misty's pale cheek, enticed by it's smoothness. She shuddered under his tender touch, slowly closing her eyes again. Her breathing began to quicken, and her lips now trembled. He could feel her excitement rising along with his own. She took his hand from her cheek and began to kiss it gently, tracing down from his palm to the soft skin that covered the front of his wrist. He pulled her into his arms, leaving no space between their bodies. She didn't refuse his advances, allowing him to draw her onto his lap. He placed his lips upon her shoulders, slowly moving the fabric of her top down a little to reveal more flesh. Her skin was so sweet, so luscious, so addictive. As he moved up to nip at her neck, a soft moan escaped her lips.  
  
She began to thread her fingers through his longish black hair. "Ash," she whispered, kissing around his ear. "God, Ash. I want you. I need you."  
  
He moved his attention from her flesh to her eyes, the orbs reflecting his lust in equal quantity. "Mist," he whispered.  
  
He stood from the sofa, Misty's legs wrapped around his waist, her arms draping his neck. They kissed with full fervour as he moved towards his bedroom, tongue battling against tongue for dominion, but enjoying every second of the war. He tried for the handle of the door, missing it time and time again before he grasped it, throwing the door wide open. He placed her upon his dresser, not caring that the objects that belonged there now covered the floor. He needed this, and he could taste her identical need in her kisses. Nothing could stop it.  
  
It wasn't until the night's ecstasy diminished that the full force of what they had just done hit them.  
  



	4. Chapter 4

_Here we go. Got another chapter for you, but sadly am only half way through chapter 5 so it may be about two weeks (would be sooner but have a great deal of uni assignments to complete :( ). Hopefully the fact that this chapter is twice the length of the first few will make up for that. Hope you like.  
  
Thanks a lot to Silent Sign for beta-reading again. He found loads of mistakes with this one so a great deal of the quality of this chapter is thanks to his hard work.  
  
As usual, please R&R. What you think about this fic means soooo much to me. Well, onto the story._  
  
  
*****************  
  
_**Chapter 4**_  
  
*****************  
  
They began to dress, either side of the bed from each other, back to back. He didn't know what to do. She was his best friend and he had taken advantage of her emotional state. Not once had he even contemplated that what was happening was wrong, what it would do to their friendship. His mind had been overrun by love and lust, and he hadn't even had the strength to deny them.  
  
He turned slightly to look at her. She was haphazardly dressing at a fast pace, her hands trembling. As soon as she finished buttoning her top, she ran out of his bedroom.  
  
Forgetting about finishing buttoning his own shirt, he followed her. "Mist, where are you going?" he worriedly questioned.  
  
"Er...I'm just heading home." He could tell she was trying to hide her emotions, re-erecting that wall once more which he had broken through years before. The tone of her voice sounded like nothing had ever happened, but her eyes were filling with tears.  
  
"Misty," he pleaded, feeling panic rise within him. "It's after two in the morning. It's not safe out there. Stay here tonight." He tried to look into her eyes, but every time he came close to, she altered her glance.  
  
"No!" she shouted. Realising the fear that permeated her voice, she lowered her volume, and used the apathetic tone again. "No. Don't worry, Ash. I'll be okay." To convince him, she forced an awkward smile to her lips. She began towards his door, but he grabbed onto her hand almost forcibly.  
  
"Mist, please. We need to talk about this."  
  
She pulled her hand away with all the force she could muster. The tears she had been pushing back began to roll down her cheeks. "There's nothing to talk about." With that, she ran out of his door, and down the stairs of his apartment building.  
  
"Misty, please!" he screamed. Within seconds, however, she was out of his sight. He didn't know what to do, run after her or let her go? But his fear made his decision for him. If he did chase after her, and caught up with her, what was he going to say? He had just violated her, robbed her of something she prized greatly. He wouldn't blame her if she never wished to see him again. That would be a just punishment for him. He was a terrible friend and a horrible person.  
  
He slowly closed the door of his apartment, leaning up against it and looked into his bedroom. The bed sheets were in disarray and the several objects that had been knocked to the floor still lay there. He concentrated upon one of the many items, traversingthe living room so that he could pick it up. It was a picture frame, the glass broken. He studied the photograph that it contained, looking past the veins of white that ran over the entire surface. He laughed in disgust. It was a picture of the two of them, both grinning like the Cheshire cat. How ironic. It had been shattered in a moment of passion, just like their friendship.  
  
He sat down upon the floor, his back supported by one of the wooden legs of his bed. He turned the little pins at the rear of the frame and carefully pulled out the backing so that he could retrieve the photograph. Why couldn't things still be like they were back then? Why couldn't he be ten once again, when the most important thing in life was winning Pokemon battles? Those times seemed so simple compared to now. A time when he didn't worry, nor care, about love, when his feelings for Misty were no more than an innocent childhood crush. Life was just too complicated now, and there was no way back. He was isolated, trapped.  
  
Alone.  
  
He reached his shaky hand up to his eyes and wiped the collecting moisture from them, leaving behind a rawness to his skin. Now, almost nine years of friendship had ended due to a simple loss of control. He was so selfish, so vulgar. He hated himself for it. How could he hurt someone he loved so much for an hour of bliss?  
  
He couldn't sleep in that room tonight. The sheets were still scented with her perfume and warm from their bodies. He left the room, closing it's door, trying to shut out the events of the night. It should have been one of the best moments of his life. He had just lost his virginity to the girl he loved more than anything, an event he had always dreamed of happening. And it hadn't been awkward and short like he always thought his first time would be. It had instead been passionate, intimate. Amazing. The memory of her perfect body and touch taunted his mind so…  
  
_Wrong!_ his mind screamed. _It was wrong, and it's wrong for me to think of her in that way. Every time I do, I betray her again._  
  
He lay uncomfortably upon the sofa, it's length too short for his six-foot frame. He lay there for god knows how many hours, trying to lull himself to sleep, hoping it would at least take this torment away from his psyche for a few hours.  
  
*****************  
  
Misty sat upon the tiled bottom floor of his apartment building, allowing the tears to assault her unrestrained. What had she just done? In a moment of physical and emotional weakness, she had betrayed her closest friend, all for her own selfish needs. What would he think of her now?  
  
She knew what. He would think of her as a slut, as someone who was feeble, corrupt. He had seen her vulnerable before, but nothing like this. She had never done anything so depraved before, never used him like this.  
  
_I'm so weak. I'm so…pathetic. Just a waste of skin. Just…worthless. How can I call myself anything else after I did something so wretchous. If I truly cared for him, I wouldn't have used him like this. He hates me, and I deserve his contempt._  
  
Pausing for a moment, she replayed her words over again in her head, their harshness making her tremble. She hadn't heard words so violent in years. Words from deep within that had always threatened, and sometimes conquered. In shock, she began to sob afresh, pulling her knees tightly up to her heaving chest, setting her head upon them.  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, feeling herself cried out but still quivering within, she stood from the cold floor and exited the building.  
  
*****************  
  
She hadn't strayed from her room since arriving home the night before, lying upon her bed, the sheets pulled up to her chin. She didn't want to move from there. It was her private space, where she could always seek solitude. The soothing blue walls, the colour of the deep ocean, the countless Pokemon plushies that looked down at her from their shelves with their big plastic eyes, the soft double bed and thick duvet. They had always given her comfort as a child when she sought escape from her sisters' teasing or her parents' arguments.  
  
She looked towards her bedside cabinet, and to her alarm clock. Eight thirty-seven pm. She had been lying there for well over half a day, barely moving an inch, barely sleeping. Her stomach kept growling, begging for sustenance, but in times like these she couldn't eat. Food would just make her feel sick. Even the mere thought made her queasy. However, she desired to get up. She wouldn't allow herself to fall into her old pattern.  
  
Pushing her legs over the edge of her bed, she looked down towards the floor. It was littered as usual with all manner of books, anything from the required reading for her course to the trashy romance novel, borrowed from one of her sisters, that she had indulged in after Ash had left her house two nights before. She normally hated that kind of stuff, however, in times of loneliness, they were just what she needed.  
  
But none of those stories were real. They were just flights of fancy, uncomplicated tales of love. They were nothing like real life. If any of them wished to tell the story of last night, those events would have been completely different. After they had made love, the man would have confessed his undying love for his best friend and she would do the same in return. The girl wouldn't have ran away from him. She wouldn't be cooped up in her room regretting her actions, and he wouldn't hate her for her betrayal.  
  
Standing upon her weakened limbs, she made her way past the books and into her bathroom. Placing her hands upon the sink, she stared at her face in the mirror. She had been told that she was beautiful many times before, and most of the time accepted it as a truth. But then, one single insignificant incident would bring her self-confidence down and she could only look at herself with scorn. She never really could understand how she could be brought down so quickly. Sometimes she felt like there were two minds trying to coexist within her. One was the happy part of her soul, which, though not overly confident, was comfortable with the person she was and determined to make her life better. This had been the part that had been in dominance for the past few years. However, the other questioned everything she said and did. It was the pessimist, the one that formulated the cynical thoughts that entered her head, and sometimes left her mouth. It had been the one that had nearly caused her to commit suicide, and now told her that she was worthless and sullied, that she had just driven away the only important thing in her miserable life.  
  
But she couldn't let that element of herself take control again, as it had last night after she had ran from his apartment. She knew that she had done a terrible thing, and that she didn't deserve any forgiveness, but she wouldn't let her life be ruined anymore by that one act.  
  
She turned on the hot water tap, cupped her hands under the flow and splashed the water over her face, feeling the liquid refreshing her mind a little. Patting herself dry again, she once more turned her attention to the person in the mirror, and to a reddish-purple mark upon her left shoulder. She remembered him biting her there towards the end, just before he whispered the words, 'You're so beautiful,' into her ear. She touched the blemish. It was still slightly tender and raw. She couldn't understand why he had given into her. He had been so adamant about waiting for the right girl. Why had he given up upon those hopes so suddenly? Was his care for her, his wish to make her happy, more important than his own beliefs? Or was he just scared that if he didn't, she would fall back into her old cycle of depression?  
  
But she had felt something from him. Something…intense. If his actions had been just to keep her happy, why had he been so passionate, so tender and caring to the point that she had barely felt any pain? Why had he whispered those sweet words into her ear?  
  
Gently bringing her fingers over the contours of her face, she traced them over the ridge of her eyebrow, down across her cheekbones, ending by her touching lips, just as he had done. Did her really think she was beautiful? He did admit to having a crush upon her when they were kids, and to still believing that she was attractive. If he could consider her in that way, then maybe she could as well. Her fingers still rested upon her lips, she felt a slight smile spread over them.  
  
She brushed her hair, then opened the drawer under the sink to retrieve a hair tie. Pushing many years of accumulated junk to the side, she searched for the object, but instead her eyes came to rest upon a small box. She lifted it out to examine it better. It was one of the old boxes of anti-depressants the doctor had prescribed years ago.  
  
********  
  
**_Three years before…_**  
  
Misty glanced over the warning leaflet, trying to read the small, black letters that decorated the thin paper, but they wouldn't remain still, leaving trails behind them as they shook. No matter how hard she concentrated, she couldn't stop the trembling of her pale hands, caused by fear and the weakness that a lack of food had brought upon her. But even if she had the ability to quell that unsteadiness, it wouldn't have mattered. The reign she had once been able to hold over her concentration had long since expired. She doubted she could even focus upon the writing long enough to read those few paragraphs. Slowly handing it to Ash, who sat opposite her on his own hotel bed, she lay down upon hers, feeling it's hard, lumpy mattress over her seemingly over-sensitive body. "Please, Ash. Could you read it for me?" she asked so softly he had to strain to hear her words.  
  
"Okay," he told her delicately. He began slowly at first, reading each line carefully and painfully, constantly altering his attention between her and the paper. Her shaking seemed to multiply as he continued, her eyes shut tight, all of the lustre gone from her once strong features. As he came to the end of the section, he looked towards her seriously, feeling her tremors come upon him. "Misty, I don't like these side effects. Some of them are really dangerous. I really don't think you should take them. They may not even work, or could…make you worse."  
  
She felt the miniscule window of hope shut upon her, barricading her from her seeming salvation. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them so tightly it began to hurt. Feeling her heavy breathing hasten more than it already had, she struggled to take a full lungful of air into her body, but the tears that were overtaking her just made it yet more difficult. Noticing her distress, he moved over to her side, placing his hand upon her cold, quivering arm. "Ash, what am I going to do? I don't think I can get through this. I feel so trapped…like…like I'm in a cage that has no door. And that I'm going be locked behind those bars for the rest of my life. But I…" Her shaking began to amplify, accompanied by strangled sobs. "…I can't go on like this. I need to get out, but can't. Except…I know of one way to escape."  
  
"Mist-"  
  
"No, Ash," she interrupted. "You've never been through anything like this. You can't know how horrible this is, how terrified I am, how every dawn just tells me that I have yet another day of this to get through. I just want this to end. There is no way I can go on. I'm too weak!" she shouted.  
  
"Misty, you are not weak! Yes, this is hard, but I know, somewhere deep down within you, there is still the Misty I once knew, the girl you used to be. The one that was strong and independent, who wouldn't let anything defeat her. She came to the surface last night. When I found out what you had been doing to yourself, when I cried for you and told you that I cared, she was the one that forced herself to eat, that pushed herself to go to the doctor today. And I know that you can become her again. You just have to try."  
  
"Ash, I can't-"  
  
This time he was the one to interrupt. "No, Misty. I know! And I will not allow you to tell me any different!" She pulled her arm away, moving away from him and towards the headboard. Seeing the frightened expression upon her face, her contracted pupils, he began to concentrate upon his breathing, trying to calm his anger. His anger wasn't directed towards her, it was meant for that demon that had been controlling her in front of his own blinded eyes. How could he not have seen what she had been doing for so long? How could he be so naïve? But he couldn't think about that now. He needed to concentrate upon her, and until he saw the girl he had fallen in love with come back to the surface, he wouldn't rest. "I'm so sorry, Mist. I didn't mean to shout at you. I just can't listen to you say those things. I…I can't understand how you can think so badly about yourself when…all I can see when I look at you is an amazing person who used to have such a vivacity for life." He began to break down once again, feeling his anger subside, replaced by a feeling of helplessness and fear. "I want that girl back…my…my best friend. I want you to yell and laugh at me again. To tell me that I'm dense and…and stupid. Please, Misty." She moved closer to him, her frail mind now wrought with confusion over his actions. He looked deep into her azure eyes, expressing every raw emotion he was feeling. "How can you do this to yourself?"  
  
"Because…it is all that I am worth. I've been told that by so many people, and I used to never believe them. But…but now, every time I try to do something, I fail. Every time I want something, it falls out of reach. Those people were right all along. I'm useless…pathetic. I'll never amount to anything. Why can't you understand?"  
  
"Because I lo-" He halted his words instantly, directing his vision downwards, every ounce of his body desiring to continue, to tell her every feeling that he had in the recesses of his soul, but his common sense held him back. He couldn't say anything. If she held none of the same emotion, it could just push her further over the cliff that she was just about teetering upon. He swallowed his desire with a sob. Bringing his gaze up towards her face once more, he said, "Because you are my best friend and I care about you, just as I told you last night. If something was to happen to you, it would be my fault. Friends are meant to protect each other, and…and…and I would've failed."  
  
Not knowing what to say, taken aback by the passion of his words, she just simply uttered his name. "Ash."  
  
"Please, Mist. Let me help you get through this. I will stay by your side every moment of the day. I'll be there whenever you need me. Just, please, let yourself rely upon me. I won't let you fall."  
  
"But Ash, what about your training?"  
  
"Fuck training," he yelled, emotion overwhelming him once more. "Mist, there are things in this world that are more important than training. Much more important." He took her hands within his own, squeezing them with a reassuring pressure. "I'll do anything to get my old Misty back."  
  
She felt herself relax a little, leaning into his arms. "Ash, I don't deserve you. Here I am, willing to let myself die, and you sweep in to save me. I don't know what I would do without you."  
  
Pulling her towards him, tilting her head upwards, he softly kissed her lips with a tenderness that made her momentarily forget the war raging within the walls of her psyche. It had been the first time he had been so bold, but he wished this simple act of kindness would help ease her pain, so that she would not only know his devotion to helping her through his words, but through his touch as well. As they both opened their eyes, chestnut meeting aqua, he repeated her words, them remaining as honest and heartfelt as when she had spoken them. "I don't know what I would do without you either."  
  
********  
  
She still couldn't sleep. She had been tossing and turning in her bed for hours, never feeling the soothing drowsiness that normally lead her to a night of peaceful slumber. Those destructive thoughts still echoed in her mind, taunted her with their cruel words, threatening that she would never be able to defeat them. She wished she could believe in the possibility of banishing them for good, but she didn't feel strong enough to perform such an exorcism, no matter what Ash had told her. He had much more faith in her than she did. If it wasn't for him, those voices would probably have already won.  
  
"Please stop it. Please stop it. Please," she pleaded, concealing her mutterings and tears in her pillow. Early mornings like this had always been the most difficult time. The darkness within her mind almost seemed to mirror the passage of the day. When the sun was up, and she had things to do, people to talk to, she was able to quieten it, able to concern herself with other thoughts, but when the sun relinquished it authority to the cold and heartless moon, the silence left her with no distractions. She couldn't take this, but she couldn't awaken Ash. He had already lost so much sleep over this.  
  
She turned around in her bed and gazed over at his sleeping form. He looked so drained, even a little pale. He had been through too much lately, and it was all because of her. He didn't deserve it, and he shouldn't have to burden such pressure. She knew that she wouldn't get through it without his support, but she needed to find a way to take some of that weight from his shoulders. Sitting up slowly, she reached down for her bag and grabbed her prescription. Taking out one of the flat, pink pills, she stood up and made her way to the small sink in the bathroom. She quickly filled a glass with cold water and used the liquid to swallow the tablet. As she felt it pass from her mouth and into her stomach, a feeling of overwhelming guilt overtook her. She had promised Ash that she wouldn't take them, that she would rely upon him, but she couldn't allow him to do that. In the long run, she knew she would feel less guilt this way.  
  
"Mist, what are you doing up?" she heard Ash call, a little hint of panic in his tone.  
  
Horrified that he would find out what she had just done, she left the bathroom and began to make her way to her bed. "Nothing. I needed to us the bathroom…oh, and I needed a drink too."  
  
She audibly heard him sigh. "Oh, right. Sorry. I was a little worried when I saw you weren't in your bed."  
  
Those words hit her like a freight train. She hesitated for a moment, feeling a lump form in her throat, before finding the courage to speak. "You…you though I'd maybe did something stupid?" she asked, her voice quivering.  
  
At her words, he lowered his head, awkwardly studying the knots in the varnished wooden floors, not wishing to utter a word. But he didn't need to. His silence, and the way his jaw had begun to shake, just seemed to amplify the fact that her suspicion was correct. This whole experience seemed to have him more terrified than he had ever been in his life, maybe even more so than she was.  
  
Seeing the affect she had wrought over him, she felt the all too familiar feeling of tears run down her cheeks. "Ash, I'm so sorry for doing this too you. You shouldn't have to go through this."  
  
He stood slowly from his bed and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm your best friend, and when someone is in trouble, it is always up to their best friend to help them through anything imaginable. I'm going to be with you until the day one of us leaves this world. Nothing else has the power to take me away from you." Ash pulled her down with him to sit upon her bed, and then, pulling the sheets over them, he lay down with her, holding her tight in his arms. "We're going to get through this, no matter what. I promise you."  
  
"I trust you." She gave him an honest smile, and then closed her eyes, feeling the drowsy effects of the pill come over her. She finally felt a trace of calmness invade her mind, casting a little light upon the darkness. It was almost like his tender touch could drive those demons away, for a little while at least.  
  
*****************  
  
He still didn't know that she had taken them for a few weeks. She had promised him that she had thrown the packets away with the trash. It had been one of the few lies she had ever told him. She didn't want him to think any lower of her than she feared he did at that time.  
  
Despite her self-made resolution not to allow recent events defeat her as they once nearly did, she knew that this melancholy was not going to be easily overcome. A simple smile and the remembrance of the kind words of one person would not get her through this guilt and pain. But maybe there was a way to make the dark feelings easier to cope with until she found a way to defeat that self-loathing facet. They had helped a little before. Unfolding the flap at the top of the box, she allowed the foil and plastic blister pack to fall onto the counter. Lifting it up, she pushed one of the bumps, allowing the pill to slowly break through it's silver covering. But before it was fully out, she stopped.  
  
She couldn't take one of them. She couldn't break the promise she made to him yet again. It would be like yet another betrayal. She wouldn't allow herself to get through this with drugs. She wasn't that person anymore. She was stronger now, and although he wouldn't be around to see it, she would try to make him proud. It would be her, and only her, that would silence that hatred-tinged voice within her.  
  
Throwing the box and blister pack into her bin three years too late, she put on her robe, and left her room, making her way to the kitchen. She didn't want to eat, but if she could push herself to do that, she knew that would be another victory. Grabbing a packet of rice cakes from the cupboard, she sat done at the table. They were a good place to start, something light and easy to eat. Taking a tentative bite into the first one, she chewed for a brief moment before swallowing. Surprisingly, it had been easier than she had first thought, the sickness instantly passing as she ate. Finishing the rest of the first and beginning the second, she felt her normal appetite return.  
  
"Hey, sis. You finally get up?" Daisy asked her with a laugh as she entered the kitchen. "How much did you drink last night? Even when you come home drunk, you usually rise from your bed a little earlier than this."  
  
"I only had two drinks," she answered in between cakes.  
  
"Then what's with the gloomy expression?" she inquired, pulling out the ingredients for tonight's dinner.  
  
She stopped eating for a moment, unsure what to say, not really wishing to say anything at all. But she knew that her sister would not accept silence as an answer. "Ash and I…we had a fight."  
  
Forgetting her cooking tasks, she turned her full attention to her baby sister. "Oh. What about?"  
  
Misty hesitated once more. "Just some…private things."  
  
Daisy tried to reach out a comforting hand to rest upon her shoulder, but she felt a wave of awkwardness overcome her, causing her to retract the gesture. They weren't exactly the best of friends, and she knew that Misty wouldn't be overjoyed to accept sympathy from her oldest sister. "You alright?"  
  
"As best as can be expected."  
  
"Okay." She didn't know what to say. She wanted to try and help her sister, but she still felt an immense barrier between them, preventing them to show any such affection. Despite how much Daisy hated it, she was sure that that wall could never be levelled. Noticing the speed at which Misty was eating, she instead resorted to her normal way of coping with her sister. "Hey, slow down. Leave some of those things for us."  
  
She looked down at the packet of rice cakes, realising that she had just finished off more than half the packet. She smiled to herself. She had went from almost starving herself to binging. "Sorry. I haven't eaten since dinner last night. I guess I'm a little hungry."  
  
"A little hungry?"  
  
Misty giggled softly. "Okay, really hungry." She placed them back where she had found them, then grabbed a nearby packet of cookies and a small bottle of orange juice from the fridge. "I'm gonna head back to my room. I've still got a few things to think about."  
  
"Do you want me to make you any dinner?"  
  
"No, it' okay…but…thanks anyway." Giving her sister a grin, she walked back out of the kitchen, heading towards her room.  
  
*****************  
  
"Hey, sis," Daisy called as she pushed open Misty's door open. "I left you some dinner if you're-" She stopped quickly as she glanced down towards her sister. She lay curled up upon her bed, snoring lightly, her arms wrapped around a cuddly Pikachu that wore a red Pokemon league hat. That hat. It had been her most precious possession since the day he had given it to her. Despite the fact that it was well worn and dirty, Misty had always refused to allow it to be washed.  
  
Walking over to the bed, she moved a bang of hair from her sister's face and regarded her features. Her eyes were slightly red and swollen, but a smile decorated her pink lips. Daisy sighed. "You really do love him, don't you? And this is really tearing you apart."  
  
Grabbing the empty cookie wrapper and drink bottle that lay upon the carpet, Daisy made her way over to the bin. But as she was about to drop the rubbish, something caught her attention; a small cardboard box. Lifting it from the bin, she read the label._ Why would she have antidepressants?_ she thought to herself.  
  
She opened the box and looked at the pill packet within. All the pills were accounted for, however, one of the blisters had been popped. Smiling, she placed the box back into the bin and quickly left the room, closing the door as delicately as she could.  
  



	5. Chapter 5

_Well, another chapter done. Sorry for the delay. Had a lot of uni work, and then I'm trying to get a placement for next year. Too much work!!!!___

_Well, here ya go, chapter 5. I hope you enjoy it. A lot of flashbacks, hehe. Mainly Ash's POV this time. And thanks again to Silent Sigh for his beta reading, and for helping me sort out a few bits._

****************

**Chapter 5******

************

Ash pulled the sheets from his bed and gathered them up into a bundle. Walking into the kitchen area of his main room, he threw them into the washing machine, shutting the door a little too harshly. As he stood again, he felt his back muscles twitch, sending pain up his spine. Stretching his back straight, he tried to ease the ache, but to no avail. Three nights lying on a sofa hadn't been a good idea, but it was better than sleeping in that room. However, he knew things couldn't continue that way. He couldn't just seal up his room as if it was the scene of some crime, despite how true he felt that was, and never enter it again. 

It was now Monday, the first day back at work since that night. All day he had just sat there in his office, trying to concentrate upon the paper work he needed to go through regarding the next Indigo League Championship, but those hours had been a waste of time. The whole weekend had been a waste of time. All he found himself doing was thinking about what he had done, possible ways he could resolve it and reminiscing about the times the two had spent together, unsure if he would be given the chance to make any more. He almost wished that he would never have that chance. It would be a suitable punishment for what he had done. He sat down upon his sofa, sighing heavily as he turned on the television. 

Noticing his trainer's despondent mood, one which had seemed to linger for days on end, Pikachu ran over to him, jumping up upon his lap. "Pika pi? (Ash?)" 

He greeted him with a forced smile, rubbing him behind his black and yellow ear. "Yeah, Pikachu." 

" Pika chu chu ka? (Are you feeling okay?)" 

"Yeah, of course." 

Pikachu shook his head, tutting. "(Ash, I can tell when you're lying. I don't mean to pry, but…what's going on? You having been acting like yourself lately.)" 

Letting the smile drop from his lips, Ash took a deep breath. He should have known it wasn't going to work. Pikachu knew him too well. Of course he would have noticed the change in his aura. He would normally be so hyper, so brash, but he was now heavy-hearted, almost sedated. 

He had only felt this form of depression once in his life before. Pikachu had noticed his altered state then too, and that of Misty. He could feel the sadness and fear that had all but consumed his two human companions, and he had shown the same concern then. However, when Ash told him that it was something private between he and Misty, the Pokémon had never uttered another word about the subject, but made sure he was still there to provide any comfort he possibly could. Ash guessed that a friend didn't necessarily need to know what the problem was to help. 

He reached down and patted companion's golden head. "I'm…I'm just going through a few problems at the minute. Something happened…something wrong…and I don't know how to resolve it." 

"Pi pikachu chu, ka achu pi. (If you need to talk, you know I'm here.)" 

"I know, but I'm not sure if I'm ready. I still have a lot of things to sort out in my own mind first." 

Knowing of no other way to help his friend, Pikachu climbed up from his lap and rubbed a cherry-red cheek against Ash's, the ultimate sign of affection to his kind. Ash, in return, stroked his starter's ears once again, receiving a contented 'Cha' for his efforts. "Thanks, buddy. But don't worry, I'll figure something out. I'll get through this." 

He wasn't entirely sure if that statement was founded in fact or fantasy. It had only been three days since he had seen her last, but her absence from his life had affected him so profoundly, even more so than it had all those years ago when she had left him to return to the gym. But the situation had been different then. He had been confused and scared as to the reason why he missed her so much. Now he knew exactly what that reason was. 

******** 

_Five years ago…_

The tender caress of the warm zephyr ruffled his hair and brushed against his face, waking him from the beautiful dream he had been having. She had been the focus of it again. They were travelling together, like before, just heading to the next town, chatting along the way, like they had always done. However, it hadn't been the whole group. It had just been him and Misty. No other soul ever appeared, but he was contented about it being that way. It was nice to just have her to speak to, for them both to be completely alone. 

It had only been a few days since he had left his two closest human friends to travel to this new land. He never knew such a short period of time could make him miss someone so much. But why did he miss her more than he did Brock and the Pokémon he had left at Oak's laboratory? Or even his own mother for that matter? Why did she have such an effect upon him? Yes, over the past few years, she had always been by his side and this was the first time they had been separated since the day they had met, but he felt there was more to it than simply missing someone who had been a big part of his life. It almost felt like he was missing a part of himself, like she had taken a fragment of his soul with her. But he couldn't understand it. Why would he feel this way towards one friend, but not so strongly towards another? 

Sighing, he tried to forget about his confusion by allowing his eyes to take in the view that surrounded him. He was sitting, his back leaning against a great tree, at the summit of a small hill, looking down towards the valley that spread out beneath him. The lush green grass wavered back and forth in the same subtle wind that had woken him. The breeze had also disturbed the dandelion flowers that had sprouted randomly all around the field, sending a steady stream of their seeds, carried by white puffs, into the air. They stood prominent against the dusk sky. And that sky? It was amazing. He hadn't seen anything that colour since… And then it hit him. The sky was the same colour as her hair, the most glorious shade of reddish-orange he had ever seen. He sat there for a moment, staring upward, awed by his thoughts before he gave up once more upon trying to understand them. It's gonna be a nice day tomorrow, he thought, smiling. 

Misty would have loved this spot. She would have called it 'Romantic' and he believed he now understood what she meant. He had never cared about that kind of thing before, had never had the desire to just gaze at what lay before him like she always did, but now it seemed so significant and important. The scene looked like it had gorged upon colour, texture and scents. It was so alive and vital. Nature was truly in her element. 

Hearing a soft moan come from beside him, he looked down to see Pikachu stretching, trying to push the lethargy from his little body. Leaning forward from the tree momentarily, Ash patted him upon the head before turning his attention once more to the seed stream and sky. His Pokémon, intrigued by it as well, jumped onto his master's bent knees and regarded the view with a joyful expression. 

Out of the corner of his eye Ash saw one of the winged seeds fall into his hands. Lifting them up carefully from his lap, making sure the seed couldn't escape, he slowly opened his hands and watched as the tiny puff danced in the breeze. It looked so insignificant, so fragile, however, its movements gave off an air of grace and happiness that could do nothing but make him smile. He hadn't reached out to capture it. Instead, it had found its way to him, as if it desired to grant him a wish. 

So, what do I wish for? World peace? That's a common request that still hasn't been answered. How about something personal then, maybe to one day become a Pokémon Master? No. I want to get there on my own. Dreams are only worthwhile accomplishing if you do them for yourself. Then how about…Misty coming back to me someday? For her to someday travel with me again, and for me to finally understand these strange thoughts I have in my head about her. Yeah, that's it. That's the perfect wish. 

He parted his hands, allowing the wind to take hold of the seed once more, pulling it into the path of the others, ascending skyward. 

As it vanished from sight, Pikachu turned to his trainer and jumped straight into his arms. Ash returned his hug, laughing. After a few minutes, the two released one another and Ash placed Pikachu into his lap. "What would I do without you, Pikachu? You're the only friend I have still with me. But I know we'll see the others again. I'll make sure of it." 

"Pikachu," he agreed with a quick nod of his head. 

******** 

It seemed that his wish really had come true. Just over a year later she came back to him, ready to rejoin their journey. And from that first day, he was sure of his feelings for her. It took a separation and a lot of growing up, but it was at that point he was sure he was in love with her. 

********

__

_Four years ago…_

Ash slowly opened his weak eyes, squinting as the bright morning sun met them. Trying to avoid the brightness, he turned over onto his side, pulling the corner of the sleeping bag over his face. With a comfortable amount of shadow over him, he opened his eyes a little more, revealing a sight even more astonishing that the overhead sun. 

There she was, barely two metres from him. The light of his life, one that had been so distant of late, but had returned to cast away those shadows of loneliness. His Pokémon, Brock and May, yes they were all his close friends, but even with them around he often couldn't shake off the veil of isolation that fell over him. There were some things he only felt comfortable talking to her about. 

He studied her face, somewhat older than he remembered, but that just seemed to make her lovelier. He watched her mouth as she breathed, opening and closing slowly, her inhales and exhales barely making a sound. Altering his gaze slightly he looked at her covered lids, noticing the bump of her pupils and irises move ever so slightly under the surface. 

After a few moments of watching their slow, mesmerising movement he noticed a flux in the motion. It was barely noticeable at first, just a slight increase in pace, but after a few seconds they began to move erratically. Her breathing began to intensify as well, and her previously silent mouth uttered small moans. 

Unzipping his sleeping bag as quietly as possible, he moved closer to her, kneeling by her side, attempting to understand her mutterings. He couldn't really make anything out, but as he looked up into her closed eyes once more, he could tell there something wrong. She began to move slightly, almost rocking back and forward upon her side. Her murmurs came out a little louder and a little clearer. It was one word ­ 'no' ­ repeated over and over again. She must be having a nightmare, he surmised. 

Panicked by her actions, he moved his head down near to hers. "Mist," he spoke gently, laying a tender touch upon her bare shoulder. At the single word and brief contact, her movements seemed to instantly calm, and a smile spread over her soft lips, like a placid ripple over a tranquil pond. Checking to insure he hadn't awoken her, he slowly stood, his eyes still trained upon her for several moments. 

Content that her slumber was now peaceful, he glanced around their camp. May and the group's Pokémon were all still sleeping, but Brock's bag was already empty. Probably up and making breakfast already, Ash thought. 

After pulling on both his socks and trainers, he slowly made his way from the campsite in a hope of finding his older friend. This was possibly one of the few opportunities he had to do this. He needed to talk to someone about these feelings that he had been experiencing over the past month. Even though Brock' experience with the opposite sex wasn't extensive, it was certainly more so than Ash's. 

He found his companion over a cooking pot, as usual, boiling up the group's breakfast. "Hey, Brocko." 

"Morning, Ash. Are Misty and May up yet?" 

"Nah. They're still sleeping away, getting their beauty sleep no doubts," Ash laughed. He thought it was bad enough travelling with one girl, but two of them… It was fun, though, and they both got along great, sometimes too well, giggling over the typical things teenage girls did, and never sharing either he or Brock in their 'private' conversations. But he didn't mind that really. It must have been hard for each of them travelling with two guys, no one to really share female problems with. 

Ash came forward, moving away from the trees, and began to circle the cooking pot, awkwardly whistling, his hands clamped together behind his back. 

Brock, bringing his attention away from his chore, looked confusedly towards Ash. "Are you okay, man?" 

"Yeah, of course I am," he answered nervously. 

Brock shook his head. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" 

"No, no," he began, scratching his head. After another circuit however, he gave up the pretence. "Well…yeah." 

The older man sighed happily. "It's got to do with Misty coming back, yeah?" 

"I…I…" Before continuing, Ash turned at looked back through the trees to the camp. Reassured that she was still asleep, he said, "How did you know?" 

"Well, you've been acting a little differently since she returned, just as a person does when they fall in love." Brock turned his attention away from the food once more, winking at his shocked friend. 

Again, Ash was lost for words. After a moment, he whispered, "How…?" 

"As I said, by the way you have been acting around her. You stare at her when you think no one is looking, you are always overeager to help her…and from the way you were looking at her a moment ago it's pretty obvious that you have fallen in love with her." 

"I didn't do anything," he blurted out defensibly before he could realise what he was doing, a feeling of guilt washing over him. For some reason he felt like a kid who had been caught with his fingers in a cookie jar. Beginning to blush, averting his gaze to the leaf-covered floor of the forest, he nervously voiced, "I think she was having a bad dream." 

Brock broke into a peal of laughter, just adding to Ash's already ascending discomfort. "Don't worry, I'm not accusing you of doing anything wrong, Ash. It was really sweet." He placed an encouraging hand upon friend's shoulder, causing him to look up from the ground. "So, it's definitely love then?" 

He sighed, an uneasy grin upon his face. "I…I think so. But, I'm only fourteen. Am I not too young to fall in love?" 

"Ash, when it comes to love, there is no certain age. It depends upon the situation, the individuals involved and a lot of other factors." 

"But…how can I be sure? How do I know these feelings are real and that I'm not just getting screwed up?" 

"If you truly love her, you will be sure." 

Ash just stood there for a moment, altering his vision to the earth once more. He began to redden slightly once more, and wide grin taking over his features. How could he not be sure? She had become everything to him in the matter of a few weeks. The only factor that made him hesitant was his age. "Then…then I know I'm in love with her." 

His hand still upon his friend's shoulder, Brock pulled him into a tight hug. "Ash, that's great." 

"Yeah, but…that only solves one thing. What do I do about it?" He let out a nervous laugh. "Walk up to her and say, 'Morning, Mist. Oh, and by the way I'm in love with you?'" 

Brock joined in his friend's insecure hilarity. "I don't think that would be a good idea." 

"Definitely not." His smile faded. "I really don't know what to do. I mean, we're really close. Over the time we were apart we constantly emailed each other and often talked on the phone, but…I don't think she feels anything for me." 

"Why not?" 

"Come on, Brock. She goes for all these older, taller, smart guys who understand what romance is. I'm over a year younger than her. We're there same height, and I'm not exactly the most intelligent person. She could never love me like I love her." 

Brock felt Ash's shoulders slump under his arm. "Hey, man-" But before he could say anything more, the two turned, hearing a yawn from behind them. 

"Morning, guys," Misty uttered while still yawning, moving towards them. 

"Morning, Mist," Ash greeted uneasily. 

"Morning," Brock echoed. "Is May awake yet?" 

"Yeah, she's getting up now," she told him before taking a seat at the park table. 

Ash sat down beside her, looking into her face. She seemed a little paler than usual and just stared ahead blankly, with little emotion displayed upon her features. "You okay?" he asked. 

"I…just had a bit of a nightmare. It…kinda unsettled me." She took a deep breath and offered him another one of her award-winning smiles. "I'm fine now, though. I had a nice dream afterwards." 

******** 

He hadn't realised it then, but that nightmare had been the beginning of Misty's emotional turmoil. For months those dreams were few and far between, and the only effect they wrought over her were a couple of sleepless nights, but almost a year later, after their two friends had left their journey, the light in his life was almost extinguished. 

He still had no idea why it had reached a pinnacle so rapidly. He guessed that she had pushed down those emotions for so long (her normal reaction. If she could she would always swallow them away so as not to seem weak.) that they had become so powerful that they easily overwhelmed her normally zealous personality. 

But if he had just had been able to notice what was happening earlier, before it had almost become fatal…If he had just been able to see past her lies every time she had given him an some phoney excuse…maybe she…maybe they wouldn't have had to endure such devastating events. 

********

__

_Three years ago…_

Pulling open his exhausted, raw eyes, he tried to examine the scene around him. Everything was in deep shadows, the only illumination coming from the moon, cast over both him and the sleeping figure within his arms. 

He gazed down upon her, feeling his emotions rise within at the mere sight of her limp body. How could she have done this to herself? She looked so helpless, fragile, like a piece of twig about to snap under overwhelming pressure. She was curled up upon his lap, her head resting just under his chin. Her long fingers were entwined into the fabric of his black t-shirt, her nails digging almost painfully into his shoulder and chest. It was if she was clinging onto him for dear life. But, then again, wasn't that the truth? If he hadn't happened upon the truth, he may never have understood what was happening to her...or been able to prevent it from going further. 

How could he have been so blind? How did he not see this? It was right in front of him, obvious, screaming for his attention. Her face displayed it every time he beheld it, emphasised by her dim eyes and dull hair. Even her choice in clothes represented her mental state, all loose-fitted, covering every possible inch of her body they could, a stark contrast to what she normally wore. 

She didn't have to go this far. He could've stopped it. He should have stopped it! He had known that there was something different about her countenance for weeks, but he hadn't seen how deep it ran and had been too frightened to bring up any of his suspicions, terrified that she would reject his help, and possibly fall even deeper into her downward spiral. Every time he tried to say something, he felt his throat close over and his courage recede. Tonight had been the first time his courage won through. She had rejected his aid initially, but later crumbled. 

He ran a delicate finger over her once full lips, cracked and bitten, the lines that ran over them so prominent. Her anaemia had bleached them so harshly they were almost indiscernible from her pasty skin. But despite it, she still intoxicated him. This whole experience just made him fall even more deeply in love with her. He was the one she had confided in. He was the one whom she pleaded to help her. And it was his lap she now rested in. He would be the only one to ever know who she truly was, how far down the road of despair she had travelled. 

He took her hand from his arm, her fingers still stiffly clawed. He tenderly spread them out, looking over the hand. Her veins stood out upon the thin white membrane covering them, running up from her wrist to her nails, her blue nail polish chipped to the point a few of her nails were vacant of it's colour. He gripped the hand within his own, bringing it up to his face to rub against his cheek. It felt so dry and cold, but that wouldn't make him let go. She wouldn't have to clutch on anymore. She was too weak from her struggles, and her strength was all but gone. But he was strong, solid. He wouldn't let her fall. He would hold onto her, forever if need be, and carry her through anything he could. 

He brought his blurred gaze upwards, taking it off her and to the night sky outside the window. The night was glorious, the stars glistening with a rare passion against the obsidian backdrop. He found his eyes settling upon one, shining brighter than all those that encircled it. A diamond in the rough, just like she was. 

And upon that celestial body he made another wish. 

******** 

Again, it had come true. She had beaten those demons that had sought and feed upon her precious soul, and came out on the side even stronger than before. But what if he had just given her over to those dark thoughts once more? 

Pulling on his jacket, almost forgetting to grab his keys, he and Pikachu headed out from the quite apartment into the seemingly quieter streets. He hadn't bothered with any shopping over the weekend, and now, with supplies beginning to seriously deplete, they couldn't wait, no matter how he was feeling. At less some things in life are constant, he laughed without humour. 

Pacing down the street, feeling the water from the puddles seep into the bottom of his jeans, he kept going back to that night in his mind. If he just hadn't given her that second kiss, or the first one for that matter, she would probably be with him now, helping him with his least favourite chore, trying to keep him from buying all manner of junk food and microwaveable meals. Even in the smallest elements of his life, her absence was horridly apparent. 

He regarded his surroundings. No one else walked the wet streets and the gloom of the overcast sky blocked out the sun's already weak rays. Everything seemed so vacant, lifeless…lonely. 

Hopeless. 

There was nothing he could wish upon this time. It wasn't the right season for dandelions, and it was too early in the day for the stars to shine. However, he doubted that even when dusk came he would have a single precious star. With the intensity of the city lights, they always seemed to be obscured. 

The stars are always clear in Pallet, a little voice within told him. He had never really cared for the city. He was a country boy, more comfortable in a small community where everyone knew each other. Cerulean had always seemed heartless to him, so desolate despite the millions upon millions of souls that resided within it's boundaries. He had only come to this city to be near to his friend while she was at the university. If she never desired to see him again, he had no place here, no reason to stay. 

******** 

Ash paced through the supermarket, absentmindedly grabbing objects from the shelves. He couldn't concentrate upon anything. Everything just seemed to be so insignificant. I need to talk to her. I have to tell her how sorry I am for this. God, I should have gone after her that night. I should have made her talk to me. Why didn't I? His inner monologue was suddenly broken by a slight electric shock, hitting his fingers. "Pikachu, why did you do that?" he shouted, shaking his hand, trying to discharge the tingling sensation. 

"Pika Pika," the Pokémon cried, pointing towards the box of food in Ash's hand. He had grabbed the wrong brand of pokéfood. 

"Sorry, buddy." 

"Pikachu." 

Grabbing the right packet and placing it into the trolley, he allowed his thoughts to centre upon her once more. He couldn't just try to avoid her, couldn't allow this to be the end of their eight year friendship. He needed her in his life. She was more important than anything. 

But would she talk to him? 

He had to at least try. Taking his mobile phone from his pocket, he scrolled down through the names until her found hers. Placing his thumb over the smooth, oval button, he tried to press the button, but his digit wouldn't move, fear again overcoming his momentary bravery. What if she hung up on him, refused to talk to him like she had before? What if he had thrown her into another depression? 

"Hey, Ash," a familiar female voice greeted. "Getting your weekly shopping?" 

Pocketing his mobile, he turned to Daisy, displaying a false smile. "Oh, yeah. Just need a few things." 

Daisy looked up at her sister's friend. He looked as forlorn as Misty, his gaze unfocused, his smile containing no passion. How could the two of them be so torn up about this, but seemingly unwilling to attempt a resolution? After a few minutes of awkward silence, she said, "Don't worry. Misty told me about what happened between you guys." 

Feeling his heart miss a beat, he uttered in disbelief, "She did?!" 

"Yeah. She's taking it pretty hard." 

"Oh," he barely whispered, shock settling in. 

"But I don't understand what is so bad about it. It was just a fight. It isn't like you guys haven't had an argument before." 

"An argument?" Ash sighed, feeling the momentary weight lift from his shoulders. She hadn't told her sister the truth. "Oh, yeah, an argument." 

"Why don't you just, like, call her and say sorry?" 

He shook his head. "It's not really that simple." He paused momentarily, realising that, until he was strong enough to talk to Misty, this meeting could be his only link to her. "How is she, anyway? I mean, how is she acting? Is she eating and everything?" 

Confused, she answered, "Yeah, of course. Though she rarely comes out of her room. And she didn't go into university today. You know the way she is. She hates to miss a day. I've had to order her to stay at home before when she's been really sick," she added with an anxious laugh before her somewhat cheerful expression was clouded by concern. "But, there was one thing that I was really confused about. I found a packet of antidepressants in her bin, prescribed to her a few years ago. I didn't even know she had been on them. One of the blisters had been popped, but the tablet was still in it. Did you know anything about this?" 

"Eh? No, I didn't." He hated to lie, but he had to keep the promise he made to Misty, that everything of concern to that incident, to her breakdown, would remain a secret between them for all eternity. 

"Strange. I mean, I can understand her not telling me, Lily or Violet. We've never exactly been close. But I thought that if something had happened that she had to go on antidepressants for, she would have at least told you." 

He thought back for a moment. "You mean she didn't actually take any of them?" 

"Not from the look of it. At least not in that packet. I don't know if she had anymore." 

He smiled. Again she had refused to take them. How could he think there was a possibility she had fallen back into her old state? She was tough, resilient. She could get through this. She had been through worse. For the first time in days, he felt some joy emerge within him. "Well, then that's a good sign." 

"Yeah. She is really strong, isn't she?" 

"She definitely is." 

"Just please tell her you're sorry or something, even if the fight wasn't your fault. I really hate to see her down like this." 

"I will try." 

"Thanks, Ash." 

As she walked away, he turned his attention back to the task at hand, his mind a little more at ease. She'll get through this. I know she will. 

"Pika chu pika ka chu pi? (So, that's why you've been so down the past few days?)" 

Ash nodded. 

"Pi. (Oh.)" Glancing up towards his trainer, he gave him a sympathetic look. "Chu pika pi cha? (Are you going to call her?)" he asked hopefully. 

"I…I am. But, when the time is right."   



	6. Chapter 6

_Ah, I finally finished this one. Sorry to everyone who has been waiting. I've had so much impeding my progress thanks to assignments, exams, getting a job, being sick...But, now, I've finished my second year of uni (though I start a year's placement on Monday), and the new chapter is here. There should be two more chapters, so this fic is gonna be two chapters longer than I originally thought. God, it may even come close to reaching 30,000 words.  
  
Oh, I forgot to say a few little things back in Chapter 5. I've changed the name Kimi to May (I found out the day after I uploaded it that they had changed her name. But why to May? That's confusing. Gary's sister in the game and the Manga is May!!!). Also, the scene with Ash and Pikachu by the tree, with the dandelions, that was actually inspired by the first ending of 'Advanced Generation' (Japanese version). I thought the scene, and the music that plays with it, was so beautifully bittersweet that I had to try my hand at what Ash was thinking about at that moment.  
  
As normal, thanks a lot to Silent Sigh to betareading and helping me with a few decisions over this chapter. Okay, now on with the show!!!_  
**  
********  
Chapter 6  
**********

  
The ceiling was beginning to bore her. She had been staring at the white expanse for hours now, analysing every bump, every barely noticeable paint stroke. Yet another night like this. She had to pull herself out of this, but she just felt so unmotivated, so unable to focus her interest upon anything. She had tried to train, to swim, to read, however, none of these attempts proved successful. She had finally given up and resolved to just let her mind wander.  
  
Hey, Misty, Daisy whispered as she opened the door.  
  
Taking a glance towards her sister before bringing her interest back upwards to the ceiling, she apathetically asked, You going out somewhere?  
  
Daisy walked a little further into the room, posing a little in her new red dress. Yeah. I have a date with my new guy.  
  
That's nice. Her voice was still devoid of all emotion. Normally she would go along with her sister's excitement, despite never having any interest in her love life. It would be too much bother anyway. There was a new man almost every week.  
  
Daisy began to leave, unsure if she should speak to Misty in her current, unresponsive mood. She had attempted this several times over the previous week, since seeing Ash, but had kept it to herself. She wasn't certain how Misty would react, but she couldn't hide it forever. She had to say something. She wanted to do something to help her baby sister. I saw Ash a few days ago.  
  
Misty immediately sat up upon her bed, her lethargic state replaced by one of intense interest. You did? Where?  
  
At the supermarket.  
  
Calming herself down from her sudden reaction, she looked down towards her feet. how was he?  
  
Daisy regarded her with a sympathetic glance. As bad as you from the looks of it.  
  
  
  
The truth didn't seem to work as she had hoped. She had believed that Misty would perhaps be moved by it, maybe it would provoke her to call him and solve this problem. However, it just increased the melancholic expression upon her already fallen features. She felt like she was somehow in the middle of all this, between two seemingly warring friends, and the situation was beginning to grate. Why did they both have to be so damn stubborn? Oh, God, Misty. Why can't the two of you guys, like, just kiss and make up? You're both as sad as each other. Can't ya just say sorry?  
  
Misty put her hands upon her bare feet, beginning to painfully grip them. It's not that simple, she spoke though barred teeth.  
  
Why not? So, you guys had a fight. I've had fights with my friends and we've always gotten over it. What's the big deal?  
  
That was it. Misty was going through enough already. She couldn't stand to just watch her sister act like this was just a little tiff. It wasn't just an argument. It was something much more serious, not like you'd understand. Probably the biggest fight you've ever had with a friend is over wearing the same dress to some damn party, so don't even start to compare me and Ash to you and your bloody, preppy friends. She jumped up from the bed, giving her a dark glare. They are completely different. **We** are completely different, remember. You're Miss Perfect, loved and adored by everybody and I'm poor little cynical Misty, the runt who ran away from home when she was eleven-years-old hoping to prove that she had some kind of worth.  
  
Daisy backed away, startled by the power of her sister's words. Her sister's temper was enough to make anyone tremble.  
  
Feeling her eyes sting with restrained emotion, Misty sat down upon her bed once more. She wouldn't cry in front of her. She hadn't since she was a child and wasn't about to start once more. He was the only one privileged to see her like that, and he wasn't with her. He wasn't there to hold her, to calm her with a gently carress. She had to be strong in his absence. Inhaling deeply she tried, and almost failed to settle her rising emotions. I'm sorry, Daisy. II'm just under a lot of stress at the moment. Things have gone out of control andI don't know what to do. But I didn't mean to take it out on you.  
  
It's okay, she uttered tentatively.  
  
She forced herself to look into her sister's face. I did something andand I hurt Ash so much. You don't know how that feels, to have done something soso wrong and hurtful to your best friend she turned her gaze to the floor momentarily, painful swallowing the lump that had arisen in her throat. to the guy you've been...secretly in love with for god only knows how many years. You don't know what it's like. I miss him like hell, but I can't just ask him to forgive me, especially when I can't even forgive myself.  
  
Daisy nodded. You're right. I don't and can't understand what you are going through. I've never been that close to anyone. But, again, that's one of the reasons I can't understand what is going on between the two of you now. With a half-smile, she turned and reopened the door to the hall. But before she took a step through it, she turned once more, offering her sister a sympathetic glance. And Mistythose things I used to tell you, that you were a runt and unattractive. That was years ago. I haven't thought like that for years. In factI envy you Misty. You've always been stronger than me. You're stronger than the three of your sisters put together. You proved that when you left home. We wouldn't have had the guts to do that. And my friendsthey don't care anyway nearly as much about me as yours do for you. Especially when it comes to Ash. Misty, he cares so much for you. More than I think you maybe realise. I don't think I've seen anyone more devastated. Well, perhaps you tie with him.  
  
Misty watched in shock as she left the room. Her sister envied her? One of the many people that had been responsible for years of self-deprecation actually envied her? Why? Why did everyone think she was so strong?  
  
But then, that was the image she had always attempted to show to others. She guessed that over the years she had become great actor, able to keep so many people from seeing her true self.  
  
Now, however, she had to prove that her strength was more than a façade. So far she had pushed herself to a certain level, but she still had a long way to go. She just had to push a little more, resolve some of the worries that had been running through her mind for the past week. Then, hopefully, she would be able to find out if her crime was forgivable. If this was truly the end of their friendship.  
  
  


************

  
  
Standing from the cushioned seat in the lecture hall, Misty pulled her bag onto her back and walked out onto the stepped passageway leading to the door. She didn't even know why she had decided to go into her lectures today. Her attention was so far removed that she couldn't even remember what the topic for the class was. She should have stayed at home for another day, taken some more time off, but she knew she had to put her life back on track, despite the anxiety that was looming over her. It was now the tenth day, the day she knew she had to take another step, despite how much she felt it was unnecessary. But she just had to make sure. As with everything in life, there was always a possibility.  
  
Hey, Misty. I didn't see you come in, Kaori called to her, pacing quickly up the steps to her friend.  
  
She turned around, trying to draw her mind away from her thoughts. I got in late and didn't want to disturb anyone so I just took the first seat I saw empty.  
  
Where have you been for the past week? I've been worried. It's not exactly like you to skip class.  
  
Suffering from the she immediately lied, without conscious thought. It had been the first excuse to cross her mind, and before she had realised, she had voiced it. She shook her head slightly. She should have given her the same reason she gave her sisters, that she and Ash had had an argument. At least then her lies would have been consistent. But it was too late now. I don't think it has fully passed yet. She coughed for effect.  
  
Maybe you should have taken a few more days off?  
  
I was just worrying about falling even further behind.  
  
Misty, you're the top student in the class. Catching up with a few days work will be a breeze for you.  
  
Believe me, things are never a breeze."  
  
Pushing a bang of purple hair behind her ears, she looked up slightly into her friend's face, puzzled as to what she was trying to insinuate. Unable to read her features, she relented, trying to spark off another conversation.  


As they passed through the university's main door, Kaori recalling every detail of the previous night she had spent with her boyfriend, Misty allowed her gaze to drop to the floor, worry pervading once more. If everything was okay, then she wanted to call him as soon as she felt able to. If it wasn'twell, then she had no option but to contact him that night.  
  
You heading straight home? she half heard Kaori ask.  
  
Not really concentrating she uttered, No. I have to go to the chemist first. Inwardly chastising herself again, she tried to gain some control over her disjointed thoughts.  
  
  
  
I ran out of flu medicine. Need to pick up some more, she said hastily, unsure of how convincing she sounded. So I'll see you tomorrow.  
  
Okay. And don't work too hard tonight. You'll make yourself worse.  
  
She smiled at her friend's concern. Don't worry. I won't.  
  
Yeah. I'll believe that when I see it. Giving each other a quick hug, they continued on their separate ways.  
  
Feeling the foreboding settling over her once more after distraction had momentarily lifted it, she took a deep breath to settle herself. _Everything's going to be okay, Misty. Just get this one thing out of the way and then we can deal with everything else._  
  
  


******** 

  
  
Ash stared across the campus towards the steady stream of students exiting by the main door. Her last class for the day would have just ended, and he knew she always left this way. He shook his head. He practically knew every movement she made each day, and now he was using that knowledge so that he could just have one brief glance of her, hiding behind a tree. God, he almost sounded like a stalker.  
  
But he had to just see her, if she was even at university that day. The agony of not being able to set his eyes upon her lovely face, to feel content within her presence, was emphasised by each and every second that passed. He had to at least see if he could quell his desire even slightly.  
  
However, there was a more important reason for coming here today. He had to see how she was feeling for himself, and he could only judge that by looking into her face and reading the emotions held there. He wished he could just ask her, but for the moment he would have to be content with this.  
  
After a few more minutes, he saw her emerge through the door. The friend she was with seemed to be speaking to her, but Misty had her eyes trained to the ground, seemingly deep in thought. Looking closer at her forlorn features, he surveyed them for any clue to her inner emotions. He could see the depression she felt, the vacant frown, the distant eyes, but there was still the intensity of life behind them. In the extreme of her previous depression, there was none of the passion. His suspicions after his talk with Daisy had been correct. She was taking his violation hard, but hadn't fallen. Again he chastised himself for forgetting her strength, for thinking that inner voice could have taken over her once more.  
  
As he watched her continue to walk along the path and towards the gates, he noticed a brief smile cross her lips, seemingly in response to the other girl's words. Despite the sadness he could see behind the expression, he felt that same old reaction he always had when she smiled, a warmth spreading within him, a blush settling upon his cheeks.  
  
As she left the campus grounds, treading beyond his gaze, he turned and leaned up against the tree. This had been the furthest he had come. He had tried to phone her, to call by her home, but he had just kept chickening out every time. He needed to talk to her, but he was just too scared. Too terrified of her reaction.  
  
He looked down upon his hands, clasped together, shaking in tandom. He had contemplated that a glance of her could perhaps quell his emotions a little, but it just seemed to emphasise them, bringing back the sensitivity that had ever so slightly diminished in his mind. The mere sight of her brought his feelings of guilt back to level they had been that night after she ran from his apartment.  
  
He had to do something, had to tell her how sorry he was even if she never could forgive him. He just needed her to know that he hadn't meant to hurt her so terribly. But he didn't even feel strong enough to do that. He was too much of a coward to even apologise.  
  
  


******** 

  
  
Entering the hall of her home, she quickly took the key from the lock and closed the door, ensuring it made no noise. She had to reach her room before her sisters seen her. Clutching onto the white plastic bag in her hand, she practically ran for the stairs, but before she had ascended far she heard movement behind her.  
  
Hey, Misty, Daisy called while exiting the kitchen.  
  
Oh, hey, sis, she uttered, placing the bag behind her back. Why didn't she put it in her backpack to begin with?  
  
Noticing her younger sister's actions, she tried to look closer at the object she held in her hands. Doing a little shopping?  
  
Ah, yeah. Just bought a little present for Togetic, she said mid-turn, before scaling the rest of the stairs. I'm gonna show it to him, then do some work. See ya at dinner.  
  
As soon as she reached her bedroom she locked the door. Sitting upon her bed, she pulled the white and blue rectangular box from the bag.  
  
Well, it's now or never.  
  


******** 

  
Ash gazed over the hectic city, the sprawling metropolis drowned in both darkness and rain. The night was so harsh and cold, nothing like the day it had followed, nor the season it occupied. The ledge above him covered most of the balcony from the downpour, but the occasional stray droplet speckled his face with it's dampness, the bitter chill it bestowed upon him somehow consoling. Bending his head into the full flow of the torrent, he allowed the rain to splash his face and wet his hair.  
  
He thought seeing her today would make him feel a little more at ease. She seemed to be holding together, remaining strong after what he had done to her, and for a few moments that was all that he needed, to know she was safe from herself. But when she had left his vision, the instability of his mind seemed to return, and all he could think about was his actions that night and how much he missed her.  
  
He pushed his head further outwards, numerous droplets hitting his neck, sliding down his back under his shirt. He just fully focused upon his emotions, his desire, his fear, his self-loathing.  
  
He barely heard the doorbell chime when it came, almost indistinguishable through the noise of the rain and his staggered thoughts. Walking through the apartment, his bare feet and dripping hair soaking the carpet, he slowly pulled the door ajar.  
  
Hey, Ash, Brock cheerfully greeted as he shook the moisture from his own saturated hair. Looking down slightly at his friend, he chuckled. You get caught out in the rain as well? God, and it was supposed to be a warm and dry night. I guess the Natu's can't always get it right.  
  
Ash rubbed the back of his neck. I don't mean to be rude, Brock, butwhy are you here?  
  
Brock stared into the young man's face for a few seconds, baffled as to expression he read there. Ash, don't tell me you've forgotten? he sighed.  
  
Forgotten what?' he asked, finally giving Brock enough room to enter the apartment.  
  
Oh, I knew I should have called you. You aren't the best at remembering things. It's Monday, the 17th. We were all supposed to go out tonight. Sure we planned this a couple of weeks ago.  
  
Ash shook his head, the memory of the arrangement coming to the forefront of his mind, battling through his other thoughts. Oh, god, Brock, I'm sorry. I forgot all about it. I'veI've had a lot on my mind lately.  
  
Pressure from above?  
  
Ah, yeah. The preparations for the next Indigo League Competition are getting a little out of hand. It wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the true reason for his absent-mindedness.  
  
I can imagine, he laughed as he fell down upon the sofa. There's enough bother in breeding. I wouldn't like to try my hand at being a Master.  
  
Ash made his way over to the kitchen area, breathing in deeply to settle his disturbed emotions. He couldn't let Brock know there was anything wrong. What would his closest male friend think of him if he knew what he had done? Brock was as protective of Misty as he was of his own younger sisters. You want some coffee to warm up?  
  
Yeah, sure, thanks.  
  
He reached for the mugs, lifting the first one down from the shelf above the kitchen counter.  
  
I'm sorry I didn't call to remind you. I though Misty would have made sure you didn't forget. At that moment, the shatter of porcelain assaulted Brock's ears. Turning towards the din he saw a motionless Ash staring down at a broken cup as it lay upon the wooden floor, a heavy aspect of shock to his features. After what seemed like minutes, he finally reacted.  
  
he voiced as he opened one of the cupboards, grabbing a dustpan and brush to tend to the mess. As he began to sweep the thousands of fragments, he studied his hands. They were trembling once more, each finger moving with a frequency of it's own. He felt so raw, so near to the edge of his emotions. But he couldn't lose control now. Not when he wasn't alone.  
  
You okay, man?  
  
He shook his head, trying to regain some composure. Yeah, just being clumsy as usual.  
  
Settling himself back upon the couch, Brock asked, Speaking of Misty, where is she? She's normally here by the time I arrive.  
  
Again, Ash froze at the utterance of her name. Any kind of control he had been able to govern over himself had seemed to have crumbled after beholding her fallen features that afternoon. Just her name could make him quake. He tried to concentrate upon his job, ignoring his friend's inquiry.  
  
After moments without receiving a response, Brock turned once again. Ash? Ash, do you hear me?  
_  
I need to stay in control. I need to stay in control_, he repeated to himself over and over again._ I can't let anyone know what I did to her_.   
  
Brock was becoming impatient. Do you know where Misty is? Is she coming out with us?  
  
I don't know. He stood, throwing the contents of the dustpan into the bin before filling the kettle.  
  
Do you want me to call her? he asked, motioning towards the videophone.  
  
Ash shouted.  
  
Brock turned once more towards his friend, shocked at the young man's countenance. His shoulders were hunched, his hands gripping tightly onto the edge of the counter. He couldn't see his face but for some reason he was sure his eyes were shut. He had never seen him like this before. Ash, what the hell is wrong with you? he asked, half cautious, half irritated.  
  
Ash's grip tightened, causing the flesh around his knuckles to turn white. He shook his head. it's nothing. Don't worry.  
  
He wasn't convinced. Is there something going on between you and Misty?  
  
Again, the pressure with which he held the counter increased. It was becoming painful, but that throbbing was the only thing keeping him from breaking. Brock, please.  
  
Ash, you can talk to me about it if you need to.  
  
I can't, he almost whispered.  
  
Brock quickly stood from the sofa and made his way over to his friend, resting a hand upon his shoulder. There was something terribly wrong going on here and he wasn't about to let the person he thought of as his younger brother go through it if he could possible help. If there is something eating you up inside, you need to deal with it. You can't keep it in.  
  
I don't want to tell anyone what happened. I don't want anyone to know what I did to her.  
  
It is about Misty then?  
  
Ash just nodded.  
  
What happened?  
  
Ash went distant for a moment, his vision becoming blurred with unshed tears. I can't tell you. I don't want to betray her again.  
  
I think if she saw the state of you at the minute she wouldn't mind you telling me. Come on. Lets go sit down. His hand still resting upon his tense shoulder, he directed Ash towards the sofa.  
  
Ash sat down heavily, placing his head within his hands. "I've ruined everything." His voice was barely a whisper. I've ruined our friendship. She's never going to speak to me again.  
  
"What happened?" he asked cautiously. What could he have done that Misty would perhaps never wish to see him again?  
  
He couldn't hold himself back any longer. His mind was swimming in a pool of confusion, anguish and panic. He couldn't control his thoughts, nor his actions. Before he knew it, he had uttered the line, "We...we slept together." He ran his hands into his hair, pulling his damp locks roughly through his fingers. The rainwater collected at the tips, then fell. Ash watched each one go, dotting the carpet.  
  
"What?" Brock shouted in shock. You had sex?  
  
He nodded. The secret was out. He just hoped he would lose another friend due to his actions, though he felt it was justified. But instead of rejection, he felt Brock's hand go to his back, rubbing it in sympathy. It gave him the strength to continue. "The Friday before last.  
  
Have you spoken to her since?  
  
Again, he shook his head. I don't know what happened. One moment we were talking, the next we were in bed together. II couldn't stop. And now she hates me."  
  
Why would she hate him because of that? "What are you talking about?"  
  
"After, I tried to talk to her but...she just ran out," he muttered, replaying the image in his head. He jumped up. "God, what have I done? She was looking for comfort, for someone she could trust, and I took advantage of her. I robbed her of something precious."  
  
Brock contemplated his last line. "Sheshe was a virgin?"  
  
"Yeah. So was I."  
  
"God, man." He fell backwards into the cushions of the sofa, pulling his hands through his still damp hair. He had known neither Ash nor Misty had been in serious relationship, but he had always been unsure about this fact.  
  
I don't know what came over me. She was upset, so I kissed her gently, like I've done many times before. Butbut I felt something new in that kiss. When I kissed her again, she returned itand, at that point, I couldn't hold back. Something that I'd dreamed of for so long was happening. Years of love andand desire blinded me to the fact that it was a bloody, stupid idea! And it was... " He stopped himself suddenly, horrified as to the line of thought his mind had begun to travel along. _I can't think of her in that way! I can't!_ "I was in love with her before, but when we were together...I felt myself fall even further. My feelings for her are stronger now than they have ever been. But, that doesn't matter because she hates me for doing such a disgusting thing to her!"  
  
"Ash, Misty doesn't hate you. She could never hate you."  
  
"She should. I'm her best friend. I'm in love with her, for god's sake, and in a moment of weakness I slept with her! He looked down to the floor, trying to rub some of the tension from his temples. However, it didn't work. It just cleared his mind enough to allow something he hadn't contemplated yet filter it's way to the front. With a more violent degree of self-directed anger, he kicked the coffee table, making his friend jump. Damn. Shit! We didn't even use protection. What if I've gotten her pregnant? He let out a humourless snigger. I've really screwed up this time, haven't I? I've betrayed her, and possibly ruined her life."  
  
Brock shook his head. "Ash, yes, it was a mistake and, yes, there is a possibility that she maybe pregnant, but this situation isn't solely your fault. She is just as responsible for what happened as you are. Misty is the strongest, most independent person I know. She would never do something she didn't want to, no matter what the reason. She would never allow someone to force her into anything. "  
  
Ash swallowed difficultly. He wished Brock was correct, but their friend knew nothing of how defenceless she could be. "But, Brock, she was vulnerable. I should have been able to control myself. Think with my head instead of with my..." he trailed off. I meanit's practically rape.  
  
No it isn't, he put firmly. She consented.  
  
  
  
Brock held up his hand, preventing his friend from continuing. She consented, he repeated even more resolutely. I have no idea why, but she wanted this to happen as much as you did. He stood, walking over to Ash, and placed his hands upon his tense shoulders once more. You guys made a mistake. You can't change that fact. Now all you can do is focus upon trying to resolve the problem rather than just punishing yourself for it. You need to talk to her.  
  
I know, but every time I try to pick up the phone to call her, Ihesitate. I keep thinking about how she'll react, how long she'll go without hanging up. I'm petrified of finding out what she thinks of me now. He closed his eyes, and drew in a long, deep breath. but I need to do it. I need to sort this out. I need to beg her to forgive mesee if we can savage some kind of friendship. He tried to swallow a sob, but it escaped through his lips. But, if she doesn't want me in her life anymore, II don't want what I'll do. I don't think I can live without her. She's more important than anything. He reached up and brushed away the trickle of salty water that had fallen down his right cheek.  
  
A little taken aback by his friend's tears, he held his shoulders a little more securely, before offering, Do you want me to talk to her first?  
  
Ash shook his head. No. It's okay. This is something I have to do for myself.  
  


******** 

  
  
Sitting upon the side of her bed, Misty looked down towards the plastic object, unsure why she was even doing this. She knew it wasn't really a possibility. The timing wasn't right. She had no symptoms so far. Her period was still almost a week away. But that logic didn't seem to level the worry that had come upon her over the past few days. She needed to make sure, just in case. Had to clear her mind from this before she could feel calm enough to undertake her next necessary action.  
  
She glanced at her watch, following the slow movement of the second hand, passing the six, travelling up towards the nine, then, finally hitting twelve, signalling that the required time had passed. She hesitated for a moment before forcing her will, turning the stick over. She inhaled a lungful of air as she directed her eyes towards the results.  
  
One line.  
  
I'm not pregnant, she sighed in relief as she lay back upon the bed, smiling. Why the hell was I even worried? She lay there for a few moments, feeling some of the weight lift from her tired shoulders. But before she could begin to relax, it returned full force as she remembered the promise she had made to herself before hand. It's done now, Misty. Now you have to take the next step. You have to call him.  
  
She pulled herself up from her mattress to sit once more upon the edge of the bed for a moment, taking the time to attempt to conpose herself. Then, taking another settling breath she stood, making her way towards the videophone placed upon her cluttered desk. I know I can do this. Steeling herself with these words, she lifted the receiver, hit the Audio Only' button, and began to type the eight-digit number engrained into her memory.  
  
As her ears filled with the shrill din of the ringing tone, she found some of her newfound strength flee. However, before she could respond to her arm's wish to place the receiver back upon its holder, the tone suddenly cut out, to be replaced by the more penetrating din of silence.  
  


******** 

  
  
_I really hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, and that it was worth the wait (prays that it was). So, now we come to the point that we have been building to for the past 3 chapters. It should be up within the next two weeks. I'll make every effort.  
  
Please R & R, cultnirvana.  
_

_P.S. There is no chapter 7. As I was replacing my little note, I had to add another chapter to ensure the fic went back to the top of the list so you guys knew there was a new chapter. I'll take done the blank chapter 7 as soon as possible, so don't review on it._


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey, guys. Another chapter for you. Hopefully the one you've been waiting for. I just hope it mets your expectations.  
  
There is no chapter 8. Again I had to create a blank chapter to get author alerts and all working. I wanted to delete the extra chapter the last time, but I found out that if I had of, I would have lost my reviews to all chapters!!! I'm not going to do that when so many of you have taken the time to give me great feedback. And thank you for the overwhelming number of reviews. I got over the 100 mark! I still can't believe that. But thank you all so much.  
  
Well, this is the second last chapter. Just one more to tie things up. Thanks again to Silent Sigh for checking this for me._  
  
********  
Chapter 7  
********  
  
Ash lay in darkness upon his bed, staring towards the still raging storm outside the window. The rain was pelting against the glass panes, the sound of thousands of individual impacts echoing around the room, interrupted occasionally by the tremble of thunder. It was barely nine thirty at night, but there was nothing else he felt able to do except lay there, trying for the umpteenth time to figure out what actions to take.  
  
Brock had left only moments before. He had offered to stay over so they could both talk more about this dreadful situation, but Ash felt that he should be alone. This shouldn't be his friend's problem. The mistake had been solely his making, and anything that came from it would be his responsibility to take care of.  
  
_God, I though this was bad enough before, butwhat the hell am I supposed to do if I've gotten her pregnant? I knew that there was every possibility! Why the hell didn't that at least stop me? I've had it constantly drummed into me at those damn mandatory trainer education lessons, Always use protection'. Why didn't I at least think about that?_  
  
He shook his head in anger. _Because you couldn't resist her_, he thought spitefully. _Because you didn't want to resist her. Cause you were so damn weak. And now you may have ruined her life. She'd have to give up so much to raise your baby. Her studies, her social life-  
  
No! This is my fault. If she is pregnant I'm gonna do everything to stop her having to give up any part of her life. I don't care if I have to give up my position as Master. It'll be a just punishment. AndI'd do anything for her._  
  
Hearing the door open slightly and feeling a slight pressure upon the area of the bed behind him, Ash rolled around to face his visitor.  
  
Pikachu began. (What were you and Brock talking about earlier?)  
  
Ash immediately sat bolt up in a panic. did you hear anything?  
  
Startled by his trainer's reaction, he jumped back slightly before cautiously answering. (Nothing much. Just something about Misty.)  
  
Ash sighed heavily, falling backwards from his sitting position.  
  
Pikachu softly climbed onto Ash's chest, lying upon his stomach with his hands under his chin. His long ears drooped downwards, and Ash swore he could see his crimson cheeks lose a little of their vibrancy. (I thought you were going to call her).  
  
Ash took a deep breath, saddened by the depressed tone in his Pokémon's voice. I'm want to. I really miss her, but I'm still too worried about what she may say to me.  
  
(Did you say something that hurtful to her that would make her never wish to talk to you again)? he asked, puzzled.  
  
Ash just sorrowfully nodded. I did He stopped suddenly, altering his words. I said something really terrible to her.  
  
Pikachu lowered his shinning brown eyes, taking his sombre gaze from his friend's face. (We all miss her too),he admitted.  
  
Ash shook his head, feeling more self-directed anger build within him. He had been to wrapped up within his own problems that he hadn't even stopped to consider what this was doing to Pikachu and the other Pokémon, those that he held so dear as partners and friends. Many of them had been by Misty's side for as long as he had been. God, I'm sorry, Pikachu. I wasn't even thinking beyond how I felt.  
  
His features brightened slightly to give Ash a sympathetic glance. (It's okay. We just want to see her and her Pokémon). A little gleam lit up in his eyes and he began snickering. (Poor Totodile has been so depressed. He and Misty's Lanturn were becoming really close, if you know what I mean), Pikachu ended with a wink.  
  
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Ash let out an honest-to-goodness chuckle, letting the melancholy reside slightly. He had always wondered about those two. I knew there was something going on there. Me and Misty were joking about it, but we didn't think that they were actually He suddenly halted his words, his momentary contentment fading fast.  
  
This couldn't keep going on. He couldn't keep putting it off. This had to be resolved.  
  
He lifted Pikachu from his chest, softly setting him upon the bed before standing. I'm going to call her, he voiced with a tone of pure determination. Right now. I can't keep chickening out. I miss her too much.  
  
Ash left his room, Pikachu following closely behind. (What are you going to say to her)? he questioned, jumping up onto the table where the phone rested.  
  
Forcing himself to lift the receiver, Ash replied, I've got no idea. He slowly dialled the number to her private line, tracing his fingers over the buttons as he had done so many times previously. But as he laid his finger over the final digit, he instantly froze.  
  
Pikachu, seeing his hesitation, quickly hit the button himself, happily shouting as he did so.  
  
Seeing the flash of yellow pass over the phone's keyboard, Ash instantly slammed down the receiver. Pikachu! Why'd you do that? he yelled.  
  
Startled by his enraged trainer's outburst, Pikachu retreated a little, coyly muttering, you weren't going to call)?  
  
I was. I just Reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, he looked down at his friend awkwardly. Sighing heavily, he placed his hand upon the receiver yet again.  
  
However, before he got the chance to lift it, it began to ring.  
  
Both Ash and Pikachu jumped backwards at the sudden noise. Grabbing it and putting it to his ear, Ash directed his eyes to the video screen.   
  
There was no picture. Just the white text Audio Only' over a black background.  
  
he asked cautiously. After a moment of agonising silence, he heard a woman's voice echo through earpiece.  
  
Her voice.  
  
  
  
  
  
He could perceive her deep, shaky breathing. Ash. You were right. We need to talk aboutabout what happened that night.  
  
Before replying, Ash turned to Pikachu. Without the need for any words, his small friend understood his look perfectly, jumping down from the table and walking into his and the other Pokémons' bedroom. Turning his attention back to Misty, he uttered, I know.  
  
Could you meet me tomorrow?  
  
Ash felt his heart rate quicken, from both joy and anxiousness. She wanted to see him. But was that a good or bad thing? Of course, he answered instantly. where? What time?  
  
Six o'clock, she quietly responded. Up on Route twenty-five. You knowwhere I usually swim?  
  
He nodded automatically, momentarily forgetting she could not see him. Yes. I'll be there.  
  
thank you, Ash.  
  
And with that, the other end went dead.  
  
Placing the receiver back upon its holder, Ash let himself fall upon the sofa, allowing his sore head to rest upon the pillows. What would tomorrow bring? Would Misty somehow be able to forgive him for what he had done, meaning they could retain some semblance of what they previously had together? Would she tell him that she never wished to have any further contact with him? Or  
  
Did she have urgent news to give him, that their one night together had resulted in something that would alter their lives more than a simple loss of friendship ever could? Was that perhaps the reason she had called him out of the blue?  
  
No, he couldn't think upon those deeply serious lines. That would just cause yet another sleepless night. He would know within twenty-four hours where things stood, whether he would be privileged enough to have her in his life once more or not. Until then, all he could do was count down the minutes as they dragged on.  
  
********************* 

  
  
Ash intently looked down upon his watch once more. Five fifty-five. Barely a minute later than the last time he had studied the rotating hands.  
  
He was close to the spot she had mentioned, the place he knew she loved more than any other in this hectic city. It was just over a mile from the edge of the metropolis, however, the sparse forest and rushing water that flowed to and from the small lake made it seem to the person basking in the sweet atmosphere that they were as far from so-called civilisation as possible. Nature was truly in her element here.  
  
He continued a little further, following the sound of lively water, until the forest thinned even more and the grass underneath his feet gave way to a form of muddy sand. He brought his vision across the mere, studying the gentle crests and troughs of amazingly clear liquid passing over its surface, until his gaze fixed upon a crimson object some ten metres to his left.  
  
She had already arrived.  


She was sat upon one of a collection of large, smooth rocks that littered the bank, her eyes cast over the lake as his had been moments before. He couldn't tell whether she was aware of his presence or had chosen not to acknowledge it, but for the moment he was content to just take in her features and analyse what information they imparted upon him.  
  
She was clothed simply in a long skirt and a fitted, long-sleeved top that was cut along the neck-line in such a way that revealed her collar bone and shoulders. Each item was dark blue, a colour that just seemed to bring emphasis upon her creamy skin and vibrant ginger tresses. He considered her hair further, noticing that it lay a little straighter and the tone was darker than normal. She had been swimming, he guessed, her hair still half damp. She had told him that it was one of the few things that could relax her, being enveloped within a natural body of water, not a pool polluted with chlorine.  
  
Tracing his eyes down to the locks that fell around her face, the colour and shape here a little more natural as they seemed to be fully dry, he came to her porcelain face. Her expression seemed confused and contemplative as if she was mentally searching for something. He brought his glance downwards, resting upon her lips. After a few seconds, he saw them part ever so slightly and begin to form a word.  
  
It's so beautiful, isn't it? she asked rhetorically, her attention never wavering from the body of water. The way it movesso calming, so rhythmic. Almost.hypnotic. When I had to come back here five years ago, this place became like a second home to me. If I had been having trouble at the gym or at school, I would come up here and swimor sometimes just stare out over it and try to understandwhat was happening in my life, where the hell it was going.  
  
Ash could hear strain in her voice. She was trying to reign control over her tone, attempting to sound emotionless, but he could detect a rising of feelings behind it.  
  
He tentatively approached her as he listened, sitting upon a boulder a little removed from her. He knew that she just needed to talk without any interruptions. He could see the pleading within her eyes, and he was prepared to listen. There had been so many gaps left in the story behind her breakdown (she had attempted to tell him everything, however, it often became too heartbreaking for them both for her to continue) and he wondered if now those missing facts were about to come to light. His begging apology could wait a little while longer.  
  
I always felt that the lake was a mirror to myself. On the surface it seems so strong and free, that nothing could possibly conquer itbut, in reality, a simple manipulation sends out never ending ripples that change its very being. Every second of every day it is being unwillingly controlled by something else, another entity. She paused momentarily, finding it difficult to go on. She had been planning these words for hours as she had sat here, and now she just had to recite them as well as she could, hoping that this would help him understand why she had used him that night.  
  
That's how I've felt most of my life. I am so affected by what other people do and say, as if the path my life is to take has been predestined and I have no way to alter the direction I'm travelling. She raised her voice a little, anger beginning to seep in. My parent's die, my life changes. My sisters win some stupid trip, my life changes. There was no way for me to prevent it.  
  
I felt so powerless that I finally decided that I had to take control. As soon as my sisters returned, I started travelling with you guys again. At first, I felt that that would help everything, that I could start to veer away from the road my life had been told to go down. But, again, I couldn't drag my feet away from that path. Everything I did to try to change thingsthey just ended up blowing up right in my face! Her hands balled as she channelled all of her rage and pain into them. I kept losing battles, I got knocked out of the Whirl Cup preliminary rounds twice, I was refused by several universities because of my age and as I hadn't really had any form of proper education for years. Even cram school didn't help. She turned her head to look at him for the first time since he had arrived, feeling a choking sob escape her mouth as she pondered her next words. Everything I wantedit kept falling out of my hands. She took a long shuddering breath, casting her vision over the water once more. So, I decided that if I couldn't change things that way, I could maybe change them another.  
  
I began to control what I did, how much I ate, even the thoughts in my head, pushing away every negative emotion I felt. Every second of the day, I regulated everything. And yet again, any power I had failed. She firmly shut her eyes, allowing the tears that had collected in her eyes to spill down her cheeks.  
  
Ash watched as the tears rolled down her face and dripped from her chin. He could feel the pain she was experiencing within his own being. He could read every emotion that crossed her features as she relived those events, but felt unable to help her. He had given up his right to comfort her. All he could do was sit and listen.  
  
Wiping the still flowing tears from her face, she continued. I felt souseless. That I couldn't achieve anything. I believed that I was just a wastethat I was The sobs that escaped through her lips became stronger, racking her body with tremors. She could remember every word of self-hate, every dark feeling that had coursed through her being, seeking to dismantle her will entirely. They still terrified her.  
  
Eventually, I began to think that there was only one way to win back controlone way to stick my finger up at fate! she spat bitterly. I tried to kill myself with sleeping pills, by trying to drown myself or cutting my wristsbut it was too hard. When all those options fell through my fingersI decided to try to starve myself. And for a week I had been able to do it. It seemed that it was the only way I was going to be able to do it. Food was making me sick anyway. I already didn't want to eat. She inhaled another lungful of breath, trying to somewhat calm her staggered breathing. I was on the path to my death, and I though that that was ituntil that night. She lifted her head, once again turning to face him. Although tears still decorated her face, a slight smile tugged upon her lips. You saved me that night, Ash. If you hadn't found out what I'd been doing to myselfI would be dead by now. You took my hand and lead me away from my old life, the pain I had been suffering for so many years.  
  
Ash couldn't take his eyes from her face. They displayed a confused mix of emotions. Currently, she appeared contented, however, her smile couldn't hide the still flowing tears and trauma in her features. He gripped his right thigh with his hand, pushing his fingertips painfully into his flesh. He wanted to console her, needed to place his arms around her and pull her into a friendly embrace as he always had in times like this. He forcibly pulled his gaze from her, fighting the ever-growing urge to run over and hold her.  
  
After seeing his face turn from hers, she also altered her view, before continuing. And these past three yearsI've been so happy, perhaps even happier than I was those first few years we travelled together. I became Alpha-Omega, I passed my university entrance exams, I had my friends by my sideand I had you. Everything was finally beginning to fall into place in my life.  
  
Her grin finally fell. But I wanted something more. Despite the fact I had all of my friends around me, I still felt lonelythat there was still something missing in my life. I wanted someone to love mesomeone to fall in love with me. I began to become depressed over the fact that every date I had, every guy I was interested inwell, things never went anywheredespite the fact I know I was sabotaging them.  
  
Her last few words piqued his curiosity. Sabotaging them? he interrupted.  
  
She gave him a look which warned him she would not elaborate. I'd never felt that form of love, emotionally or physically. When we began to kiss that nightI felt what I had never experienced before. Wanted. Desired. I felt for that hour that I was taking control of the part of my life that had always been beyond my reach. Her voice began to fracture once more. in realityin reality I had lost control againand because of that, everything has changed.  
  
Ash felt his breath escape him at that moment, an unsettled feeling coming over him. Are youI mean, we weren't careful and a-  
  
I'm not pregnant, she quickly told him, hearing the panic in his tone. I meant that because of what I did, I've betrayed you and destroyed our friendship, she clarified. All because I couldn't control myself.  
  
He shook his head confusedly, turning to her. Misty, what are you talking about? You didn't do anything wrong.  
  
Although she could feel his eyes burning into her, she kept her view away from him. She swallowed with difficulty. I used my best friend for my own selfish needs. Of course that's wrong, she told him, her harsh tone reflecting her own self-disgust.  
  
He couldn't let her continue blaming herself. Why did she always have to do this, own responsibility for everything, even when she hadn't committed any crime? It was yet another consequence of her often low self-confidence. He shifted along the rocks, moving closer to her. She visibly tensed at his movement, causing him to pause further from her than he desired to. But Misty, you were depressed andfragile. I was the one that betrayed you. I knew how you were feeling and I should have stopped what was happening, but I lost control as well. I can't excuse myself for doing that, for taking advantage of you.  
  
Her eyes were still trained to the edge of the water. But you didn't, Ash. You didn't take advantage of me. You made love to me. You cared for me, gave me what I wanted and needed. If anyone was taken advantage of, it was you. I took advantage of the fact that you would do anything for anyone, even when they don't deserve it. I hurt youI hurt the person I owe my life to.  
  
But, Mist, I robbed you of your innocence, he almost shouted, not understanding, nor believing, the words coming from her mouth.  
  
She shook her head, an allowed a slight smile to cross her features. Losing my virginity to my best friend? I can live with that. In factI'm proud of it. It's the closest thing to your first time being with someone you love. _And it's even better when you're in love with that best friend_, she thought. But I betrayed you.  
  
  
  
Ash, no! she interrupted. Don't try to blame yourself for this.  
  
But, Mist, it wasn't your fault!  
  
It was! she told him firmly. I ruined that dream of yours.  
  
  
  
I did!  
  
His frustration was getting the better of him, and he couldn't hold back any longer. No! You didn't! he yelled, jumping up from the boulder. Realising the harshness in his tone, he raised his hands to his head, rubbing his temples with his fingers in an attempt to calm down. You didn't ruin my dream, Misty, he muttered without concentrating.  
  
Her head instantly snapped in his direction, his sentence hitting home. Her heart rate began to quicken, her thoughts rushing. What was he saying?   
  
He knew from her expression that she had somewhat understood what his words were insinuating, however, that knowledge was diluted with confusion, non-belief and fear. He could see no way to disguise those words, and to a great extent, he didn't even wish to try. He had secretly wished for years for this to happen, to be in a position he couldn't back away from admitting everything to her. He knew it would be the only circumstance with which he could finally tell her the feelings he had been repressing. He walked over to her and raised his hand to her chin, cupping it gently, making sure she couldn't take her eyes from his. You didn't ruin my dream, Mist. That nightI achieved it.  
  
Her mouth fell opened a little, as if she was attempting to utter something, but her voice failed her. She just stared at him, no other emotion displayed that he could decipher save complete shock. But he needed to continue. The damage was already done. Now he needed to explain himself to her, as she had done previously.  
  
Fighting the urge, but succumbing to it, he began to tenderly stroke her cheek, closing his eyes against the wondrous feeling it brought him. Misty, that night, yes, I was overtaken by lust. But there was also something else much more powerful: love. He forced his eyes open, focusing his full attention upon her. I'm in love with you. I have been for years, at least since you came back to me. And with everyday, with every experience we've shared, I've fallen in love with you even further.  
  
When you asked me to make love to you, itit was a dream come true. Something I'd been dreaming of for years was really happening. And I didn't want to stop it. I couldn't stop it cause all I could think about was being with you.  
  
He lowered his glance, dropping his hand from her face. And that fact just makes what I did worse. If I was any kind of a decent human being I should have been able to think past what was happening. I should have been thinking about how it would make you feel afterwards. But the fact that I wasn't even able to contemplate how the person I'm in love with would feelthat's just despicable.  
  
She had yet to make any form of response to his confession. He had at least expected her to softly turn him down, or perhaps yell at him and call him an idiot. However, she just sat there, her face still aimed in the direction he had turned it, the same blank expression shown. He sighed as he took a few steps from Misty, his back to her. I'm sorry, Misty. I just wanted you too know the true reason behind it. I know I've made things even worse than they were before. But, if our friendship is truly over, I just wanted you to know how I really feltand how special you truly are. You're an amazing person, despite what those voices within you have said in the past. And because of that I couldn't help but fall in love with you.  
  
As he began his journey once more, he perceived a series of wet footfalls behind him.  
  
Misty whispered anxiously.  
  
He stopped instantly, turning to face her. She was a mere few metres away from him, one hand by her side, the other clenched over her heart. It was a stance that was all too familiar to him, the same pose she always held when emotions rose close to the surface.  
  
Their eyes locked once more. They were frozen, unsure what to do, unsure what the other was thinking.  
  
It was Misty who broke the cessation. She transversed the short distance between them, placed a hand upon the back of his neck and lowered his head until it was next to hers.  
  
Ash felt paralysed, confused by her actions. He wanted to speak, but her touch was too intoxicating. He could smell the lake in her hair, feel her breath on his skin, her fingers thread through his hair. What was she doing?  
  
As if to answer his silent pondering, she placed her lips upon his in a gently caress. At first he was too shocked to react, but slowly relaxed into her kiss, deepening it and allowing his eyes to close. All thoughts as to her motivation passed from his mind as he rested his hands upon her hips, bringing her even closer.  
  
After a few moments of the sweet embrace, they separated, breathless. Ash stared into her eyes, finding the sadness and fear gone.  
  
She smiled up at him. Oh god, Ash. She set her forehead against his, rubbing her hands over his jaw. I love you, too, she whispered. She planted butterfly kisses over his chin and cheeks, repeating those same words constantly. I love you. I love you.  
  
All Ash could do was hold her, contemplating her words. She loved him? She had the exact same feelings as he did? Did that mean that she held the night they had spend together in the same regard as he did?  
  
he softly muttered into her ear, feeling a wave uncontrollable relief and amazement passing throughout his body. These past two weeks they had both been torturing themselves with regrets and self-hatred, wallowing in the fear that their friendship had come to an abrupt end. That pain had been entirely unnecessary.  
  
But that didn't matter any longer. That was the past. What mattered now was the fact that she was in his arms, smiling up towards him. He leant down slightly, coaxing her kisses away from his skin and onto the more sensitive membrane of his lips.  
  
  
************************  
  
They both stood in the middle of his bedroom, Misty's hands placed upon Ash's waist while his held her face close to his. They rubbed their cheeks together, loving the feel of being able to touch each other once more.  
  
She moved her eyes to gaze into his, staying so close to him her vision was blurred. Are you sure about this? she whispered. We don't have to if you think we should wait.  
  
He laughed. Shouldn't that be the guy's line?  
  
This is as important a step for you as it is for me.  
  
He smiled down at her. We already took this step.  
  
Her cheeks pinkened lightly, looking towards the ground momentarily before returning her vision to his face. I know, but that was before we knew how we felt about each other. But now that we're togetherit's a big step in this new relationship.  
  
I know, but it's a step I really want to make, he replied full-heartedly, pushing a fine bang of crimson away from her face. I want to be with you again. I want to be able to hold you like I did that night, but this time I want to be able to hold you afterwards as well. As long as you are ready, I am.  
  
She kissed him in response, trailing her hands from his sides to the back of his neck, wrapping them there. Keeping one hand upon her jawbone, he permitted the other to fall to the small of her back, letting it slip under the fabric of her top, pulling her even closer to him. They kept the kiss soft and tender, both a little nervous as to what it was a prelude to. As they separated, feeling warmth already flow throughout their bodies, they looked into one another's eyes, both seeing the happy nervousness they both contained. After holding the glance for a few moments, Ash let another chuckle escape his lips. I guess this the way the first time is supposed to be. A little awkward.  
  
she replied, her cheeks still heavy with a blush. She felt a little scared and anxious. That last time had happened so quickly and unexpectedly that no such fears had crossed her mind. However, now it had been planned, giving her enough of a chance to contemplate it fully. But, those worries didn't make her wish for this any less. It was just like a rollercoaster; you feel apprehensive and frightened at first, but once you climb the first hurdle, everything, sans the exhilaration, floats away.  
  
She raised her head until it was parallel with his once more and glanced into his dark eyes. As they always did, his orbs reflected her emotions flawlessly. She placed her lips upon his with a little more pressure than before, understanding that all they had to do was pass that first obstacle. Then, everything would flow naturally.  
  
And, as he responded to her kiss, that's what she felt occurring.  
  
Returning her force in equal measure for a few seconds before adding to it, he sensually beginning to lightly suck upon her upper lip. As Misty moaned in reaction to the intimate contact, Ash trailed his hands downwards to her neck, first using his finger tips to sense the vibrations over her voice box, and then further to trace along the line of her collar bone, before resting upon her bare shoulders, kneading the flesh there.  
  
As they continued kissing, each second the motions becoming more passionate and warm, the shyness between them died. The soft touch of each others' hands roaming over flesh no longer felt alien. It was now comforting and invigorating, added to the longing they both felt.  
  
Misty moved her hands further along Ash's back, pulling his t-shirt upwards until she was able bring it over his head. After the brief second of lost contact, Ash immediately placed his hands upon her waist, gripping her top's hem, removing it as well. Wrapping their arms around one another, they concentrated upon the tingling sensation where bare skin touched bare skin. The feeling roused stirring memories within both of them, and instead of rejecting them, they were embraced, their mistake' no longer a taboo.  
  
You're skin's so soft, Ash uttered, making her giggle, as he kissed along the grove of her collarbone, licking the valley with his tongue. He could still taste lake water upon her, that natural scent mixing with her own unique one. The sensation was addictive.  
  
Rubbing his hands over her thighs, he moved them upwards, trying to memorise ever curve of her body; her rounded hips, the inward dip of her waist and the swell of her bosom. He traced his fingers over the lace fabric of her bra and back to her shoulders.  
  
Misty revelled in his touch, gently threading her fingers though his long hair, massaging his head, as he continued to trail his lips over neck.  
  
She began to walk backwards, pulling him along with her, until she felt the edge of the bed behind her legs. As she lay down across the bed he leaned over her, gently placing his body onto hers. She raised her legs, closing them over his hips and pulling him closer. His weight felt comforting, reassuring, not restrictive. I love you so much, she muttered between heavy breaths.  
  
And I love you, he replied before once again seizing her mouth with his. 


	8. Chapter 8

_Okay, guys, the final chapter (well, chapter nine is only a short epilogue, so I could get rid of that damn extra chapter). Enjoy and please, please R&R. Thanks._  
  
  


********   
**Too Far?  
  
** **By cultnirvana** **  
  
** **********Chapter Eight***********

  
  
The room was cast in a deep red glow, the illumination provided by the setting sun barely breaking over the horizon.  
  
Misty lay over him, gazing downwards into those mesmerising pools of brown. She felt his chest rise and lower below her, the motion of his deep breathing relaxing her. Pulling her fingers through his sweat-moistened hair, she placed her forehead upon his, reeling in the lingering emotions within her.  
  
Ash could feel her still paced exhales tickling his cheek, the tender caresses causing his heart to sing once more.  
  
He couldn't believe the situation he was in. The previous night he was sobbing over the death of their friendship, but now she lay naked once again in his arms, and this time he had no fear of her running from him.  
  
He studied her orbs, entranced by every subtle variation of blue and green within the irises. Every trace of pain and regret had been extinguished, her eyes now alert and joyous.  
  
He tightened the embrace he held upon her, gently turning to the side to softly lay her upon the bed. They never broke eye contact, neither able to take the slightest fraction of their concentration from the other.  
  
The room just lay still for the longest time, a comfortable silence reigning over everything, until a soft giggle left her lips.  
  
Ash asked, whispering for no apparent reason.  
  
She felt a rush of heat flow into her cheeks. I don't know. Thisjust kinda feels  
  
His face contorted into a slightly confused, slightly wounded expression. Hey!"  
  
She immediately waved off his interpretation of her words with the shake of a hand. No, don't worry. That wasn't an insult. I meant thatbeing this physically close to someone, doing what we just did, feels sounusual. But definitely not in a bad way. She placed a tender but forceful kiss upon his lips, feeling her eyelids momentarily flutter and close, before uttering against them, her tone still tinted with desire, Definitely good.  
  
Her delicate kiss enticed him, causing him to return an even more passionate one of his own. He felt himself falling for her taste once more, darting his tongue into her mouth, unconsciously pushing her onto her back. After a moment of her returning the kiss, however, he felt her resist a little, instantly making him stop. Are you okay?"  
  
She nodded, smiling up at him. But can wewait a little while before we make love again. It's just she finished uncomfortably.  
  
From the emotion held within her eyes, he knew exactly what she meant. Of course, Mist. I wasn't thinking, he told her, before cupping her face with one hand, looking down towards her with a worried look. Was itreally bad?  
  
No. Just a littleuncomfortable. The first time it was worse, though, not as bad as I thought it would be. She chuckled. I guess that really says something about you.  
  
He eyed her with a curious expression.  
  
That even when you had no control over your actions, the fact that you are such a sensitive and empathic person still shone through. You were so gentle.  
  
He blushed profusely with embarrassment. Lying back upon his side, pulling her with him, he gazed once again into her eyes, her returning the soft stare. Trailing his fingers over her eyebrow, down her cheekbones, along her jaw and across her lips he whispered gently, You're so beautiful.   
  
She directed her attention truly from his for the first time, casting her eyes downward awkwardly. You told me thatthe last time.  
  
He pushed her chin up slightly so he could study her face, shocked to see her eyes slightly shimmering with tears. Hey, what's wrong, Mist? he panicked. I was just telling you the truth. I didn't mean to upset-  
  
She placed a finger upon his lips, suddenly bringing his anxious words to an end. You didn't. It's justit feels so good to hear that. She took a reassuring breath, allowing it to flow through her body and calm her mind. I still sometimes find it hard to believe thatsomeone could think of me in that way.  
  
Ash uttered softly. He reached down and took her hand in his, interlacing their digits, and brought them upwards to his mouth, gently kissing it. I can't understand how you can think of yourself like that. I never could. To meyou're as perfect as anyone could be.  
  
She smiled slightly. I know I am too you, and you know how much my opinion of myself has changed sincethen. But I'm never going to be the way I was when I was eleven. Too many events have occurred between now and then for me too become thategotistical little preteen again.  
  
They both chuckled at her description of her old self, before she continued in a more subdued tone.  
  
Most days I wake up and I'm truly happy with the person I am, with the face I see I the mirror, but other days She averted her eyes once more, this time a sorrowful look upon her face. It's just after being told and believing that I was worthless for so long, it was always really hard to push through that and think positively about myself. Even now, after years of feeling pretty much like my old self againI still have periods of those doubts.  
  
Unsure of how to respond, he moved his face closer and gently rubbed his cheek against hers in an effort to calm her. He felt some of the tension release from her body as she responded to his touch. After a few moments of silence, he decided to try and resurrect their earlier conversation that had been abruptly cut short. Was it more than just that wholelack of control thing that started everything off?  
  
She nodded, her gaze still cast downwards. It wasn't the only thing. A lot of it came from being bullied by my sisters and from some of the kids I went to school with. But it was certainly the main reason.  
  
For a long time I was able to put that feeling of powerlessness to the back of my mind. When I was happy and with my friendswell, it just didn't matter. But when I left you guys to go back to the gymI got so lonely thatI couldn't stop it. It all just rose to the forefront.  
  
God, Mist. I should have made more of an effort to come see you, he told her regretfully. Over that whole year, I didn't visit you once.  
  
She looked up at him. You couldn't have, Ash. You were hundreds of kilometres away. You did nothing wrong. Believe me, when we did talk, it helped me so much.  
  
But I had no friends in Cerulean. Everyone I cared about was so far away and I rarely had any contact with them. Having my friends around made me forget about that prevailing sense of no control I had, but without those I loved surrounding meit came back full force.  
  
But, just like typical Misty, I didn't allow myself to truly look into the emotions I was feeling. I kept them inside, just trying to get on with a somewhat normal life. When we met up again, I was where I wanted to be again. I thought I didn't have to face them again. But, I had fallen so far that I didn't have the strength to climb back to the level anymore. They were still there, always growing stronger until She swallowed loudly. until I couldn't hold them back any longer. Until I burst. She paused momentarily. You remember the nightmares I had after we started travelling again?  
  
He quickly nodded, willing her to continue on, unconsciously treading his fingers through her hair.  
  
I think that was the start of me losing the strength to hold them back. Years and years of emotions – those about how I felt when my parents died, about being bullied, being dragged countless times away from the life I wanted, failing everything I tried to achieve – overtook me and I could neither continue to hide them, nor cope with their weight. She placed her lips upon his, uttering, But you were the one who saved me from being crushed.  
  
Did youhave any of those feelings after what happened?  
  
She nodded. I feltworthless for doing that to you. I was sure you would hate mefelt that you should hate me. I felt miserableand did feel some of those oldemotions rise, but I forced them away. I wouldn't let them do to me what they once did.  
  
Instead, I did what I should have done all those years ago. I let myself experience every emotion I had. I lay in bed and cried, for how long, I have no idea. I wasn't going to act like the old Misty and almost destroy myself again by not facing what I had done, or by torturing myself for a mistake. She saw him smile at this, the expression becoming contagious. And by doing that, despite the fact I still hated myself for it, I was able to go to you and tell you how sorry I was.  
  
Though she felt nothing but bliss, her mind free from despair, she felt a trickle of tears slowly pass down her cheek. That depression will never entirely leave me, and has and will resurface in certain circumstances. I have accepted that fact. But it doesn't mean I'm ever going to let it rule me again. She smiled triumphantly. I know I can beat it. I feel in control of my life now. I have for a long time. It was just that fear of never being able to find someone to love me that has had me so down lately. But, I don't exactly have to worry about that anymore.  
  
He brushed the few tears from her cheeks. That's my girl, he told her proudly, causing a light chuckle to escape her lips.  
  
The joyful look in her eyes flickered, giving way to an almost worried one. But, there is something I haven't been truthful to you about, and as we're about to start this whole new relationship, I want us to have as much as possible out in the open. She bit her lip anxiously. Those antidepressantsI did take them. For a short while only, though. I felt so guilty that I was laying all this stuff on you and thought that maybe they would be a way I could lift some of the pressure from your shoulders. She took a deep breath. And, the night after we sleep together, I felt tempted to take them again. She studied his expression, unsure what emotion it displayed. But I didn't. She hastily added. I'm really sorry, Ash. I- The affectionate glance he gave her made her pause.  
  
Mist, it's nothing to be sorry about. It was because of my begging that you weren't going to take them in the first place. I guess I was too focused upon the possible side effects and mywish to be the person you relied upon that I didn't really think about how you were really feeling. I meanI wish you hadn't needed too, but it was your decision to make, not mine. It wasn't fair of me to ask you not too. But I'm really glad that you didn't this time.  
  
Shaking her head, she said, I just can't believe that we've both wasted so long beating ourselves up for what happened, whenif I had of just listened to you that night instead of running off like a scared little girl  
  
Mist, what happen doesn't matter anymore, he reassured her. What's important now is that we have both come through it all and are closer than ever. The past few weeks needn't have happened.  
  
She felt a smirk cross her lips. Maybe you aren't as dense as I thought you were.  
  
But instead of continuing his insulted façade, he laid another kiss upon her. I hope you know I'm never gonna let you go.  
  
You better not, Ash Ketchum, she replied, in a half-teasing tone, turning around so that her back was against his chest.  
  
They both cast their eyes past the glass of the window and into the purple sky, the last few rays of crimson sunlight now falling below the horizon.  
  
Ash lifted his body up slightly from the bed, using his elbow for support, and glanced down upon her. Her face displayed that contented expression he always yearned to see there, the one that told him that perhaps the worry and panic he held within his heart in regards to her was unnecessary.  
  
She was strong, and everything she had been through in her nineteen short years had made her even tougher. And in times when she perhaps did fall, when her resolution retreated, he would be there, his arms wrapped around her, to carry her whenever she needed.  
  
The last lingering traces of illumination passed from her face, and the room passed into almost entire darkness. Unhappy with the fact he could no longer study her, he reached behind him and flicked the switch on the bedside lamp.  
  
It going to be hard to get used to, he heard her utter as he turned back to her. We're so used to being best friends, but now we have this whole new relationship, this whole newfuture together.  
  
"Yeah, but it's gonna be great, he excitedly exclaimed. He kissed her bare shoulder. So, you wanna get married when you're about twenty-five, he began happily. Good. That gives me a few years to propose."  
  
"Well, you don't have to wait that long if you want."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind." He paused for a moment. "But maybe, until then, I could make another kind of commitment."  
  
She turned her head towards him, looking deep in to his eyes. "What do you mean?" she asked, confused.  
  
"You know you were wanting to move out of the gym, find a place of your own. Well, why don't you move in with me? This place is paid for so you wouldn't have to worry about rent, it's not that far from the gym and the university, and you will only have to see your sisters when you want too. And we'll be able to be together whenever we want."  
  
"Oh, but I don't want to impose on you. I mean, this is your apartment, and it's not that big. It wouldn't really be fair to you.  
  
"But I want you here. For a start, you are constantly trying to earn enough to pay for your tuition fees and everything, when I spend most of my cash on junk. I could help you out.  
  
I don't want to be a kept woman, she joked.  
  
You won't. I'll just be helping until you graduate. I know how difficult it's been for you sometimes, so I just want to do anything to make the girl I love happier. And when it comes to space, I don't think that will be a problem." He gave her one of his trademark cheeky smiles. "You can just sleep in here with me every night."  
  
"I'm sure that's one of the main reasons you want me here, the ability to make love whenever you want."  
  
Taunting her, he replied, "I'm sure you would enjoy that benefit too, judging by the way you were acting a few minutes ago.  
  
"Hey," she gasped, pretending to be outraged, but unable to disguise the blush upon her cheeks.  
  
He focused upon her with a serious expression. "What do you think?"  
  
She returned his stare, moved by the passion and commitment reflected within his eyes. How could she do anything but agree. "I'd love to."  
  


*********

  
  
Pikachu examined the imposing box in front of him, licking his lips at the challenge it posed. Yeah, maybe it was a few inches taller than him but that didn't mean it was *too* large to carry.  
  
Placing two furry hands under its cardboard bottom, stretching his short arms apart as far as they could go, he hoisted the box up into the air.  
  
Instantly, however, he felt the unexpected weight of the container sway him back and forth. Every counterbalance he made just seemed to cause the object to fall in the opposite direction, never tiring in the game it was playing against him.  
  
he screamed out in fear, hoping to alert his master's attention. If he didn't stop this idiotic stumbling act soon, he was going to end up squashed under god-only-knew how much mass.  
  
Responding to his panicked call, he heard Ash utter, in a tone that clearly meant, What have you gotten yourself into this time?  
  
As Pikachu continued to battle against his hefty opponent, Ash crossed the room, sighing. But just as he bent to lift the box, Pikachu felt his balance falter once more, this time falling to a point that he couldn't recover from. Landing flat on his back, painfully bending his tail into a position it certainly wasn't meant to be in, he felt the full weight of his adversary push down upon him, only to lighten seconds later when the flaps at the top of the box popped opened, permitting its contents (numerous hard-backed books) to escape onto the carpet around him.  
he groaned. Opening his eyes he saw the cause of his downfall move away from him only to be replaced by his trainer grinning.  
  
That was stupid.  
  
With a dirty look, he replied, (Not as stupid as half of the stuff you do.)  
  
I'll second that, said a voice behind them, enjoying how easy it was to anger her lover.  
  
In turn, Ash punished both Pikachu and Misty with a disdainful expression, but the look ended up producing nothing more from the pair than cackle of laughter.  
  
Pikachu stood, pushing the last few books off his body, shaking his head to regain his feeling of equilibrium.  
  
Misty reached over to remove a small makeup bag from her bed, handing it to her yellow friend. I think that's of a more suitable size, ne?  
  
he nervously responded, staring at the floor, before exiting the bedroom and continuing through the corridor, down the stairs, into the lobby where the rest of Misty's belongings sat.  
  
You're never gonna stop teasing me, are you? Ash grumped.  
  
Of course not. It's my job. She fell down upon the bed, winking cheekily at him.  
  
Throwing the books back into their box, Ash found himself discovering a flimsy, paper-backed novel among the thicker, hard-backed ones. He looked at the cover; a man, his shirt open to reveal his muscled chest, and a woman stood in a clichéd pose. I didn't think you went in for these kind of books, he teased, waving the book in front of her.  
  
As soon as she realised what he had found, she made a quick grab for it, missing as he stood and raised it over his head. Attempting to reclaim it from his hands wasn't going to work, so she decided to try the next best thing; denial. Laying back upon her mattress, she pretended not to care. It's not mine. You don't think that I'd read that trash. One of my sisters must have accidentally left it in here, or put it in that box as a joke.  
  
he murmured, not believing her excuse. He flicked through the hundred of so pages stopping when he noticed a bookmark, covered with a pattern of pink Corsola (_Oh, Mist, you can be so predictabl_e, he mused.) placed about halfway through.  
  
He scanned the first few paragraphs before beginning to read aloud a part he found very interesting.  
  
_'She traced her fingers through his luminous golden hair, filtering down to massage those awe-inspiring golden muscles. She felt a warmth spread throughout her body as he pushed the lace of her transparent dress off her shoulder and down her-_  
  
Shaking his head, he threw the book down into the box, and cast an eye towards her red face. I didn't think you were the type to read smut, he laughed, sitting upon the edge of the bed.  
  
Desiring retaliation, she quickly returned, And I didn't think you would be the type to buy those magazines that I noticed at your - sorry, our place.  
  
With a shocked expression, he pleaded, where did you find them?  
  
Unexpectingly, she broke into a peal of giggles, rolling around in uncontrollable amusement. I was just kiddingbut I certainly tricked you well.  
  
He still hadn't moved, his mouth gaping open, hand scratching the back of his neck. Ah, wellthey aren't mineBrock asked me toah, look after them for him.  


Now who's the one trying to blame their personal pleasures' upon someone else?  
  
You little con artist. He moved closer to her, leaning his body over hers. So, is that where you got some of those   
  
Well, there and late night girly chats.  
  
he whispered before kissing her hard upon the lips, their teasing and taunting session causing his lust for her to increase.  
  
After a few moments of unbroken kissing, Misty felt her lover tug lightly upon the hem of her top, trying to persuade her to sit up slightly so he could remove it. Ash, what are you doing? she chuckled. We can't here, not with the Pokemon and my sisters around.  
  
But we still haven't christened' this bed yet, while we've pretty much made love everywhere back home."  
  
You're incorrigible, she whispered, almost ready to give up until her attention was distracted by a forced cough coming from the doorway.  
  
I hope I'm not interrupting anything, Daisy joked.  
  
Ash sat upright instantly, awkwardly casting his eyes to the floor. Despite his best efforts to display an innocent air, his beat red face couldn't fail but give him away. His embarrassment only grew when he saw both women smirk at his reaction. Standing from the bed, he grabbed the box of books. put this one down with the others, he quickly muttered before almost running from the room.  
  
Is he okay? the blonde inquired.  
  
I think you just embarrassed him.  
  
Daisy took a quick survey of the room. Some of her sister's possessions still littered the selves and table, but the impact of the pieces that had been already packed away was profound. The room looked so bare. Are you nearly finished packing?  
  
Just about, she replied, throwing the last few items of clothing from a drawer into her old, battered red duffle bag. Think this here is the last of it.  
  
Daisy watched Misty joyfully hop about the room, collecting several of her little trinkets. After a few moments of observation, she began, It's going to be weird without you here. I know you've only been back for, like, two years, but-  
  
Don't worry, I'll be here almost everyday for battles and to look after my Pokemon.  
  
You aren't taking them with you?  
  
It wouldn't be fair to them keeping them cooped up in a flat. God, could you imagine me letting Gyarados lose. Nah, it's better for them here with the pool and all.  
  
  
  
Misty set the bag upon the mattress and, shaking her head, regarded her eldest sister. She couldn't really understand the expression she wore, so instead guessed at its meaning. You must think we're crazy. We've been together for three days and we're already moving in together.  
  
Maybe if it was someone else, but you guys have been in love for, like, forever. I think it's great. So does Lily and Violet.  
  
  
  
What did his mum say? she smirked.  
  
Misty couldn't hold back her laughter. You think he was embarrassed a minute ago, you should have seen him on the phone with her. He froze the moment her face appeared on the screen. I had to tell her. He just sat there and nodded as I spoke.  
  
I can imagine that. He seems really shy when it comes to sex, well, except with you of course. He hasn't been able to keep his hands off you all day.  
  
Misty blushed. Well, he may be a little shy, but he'sah, very passionate.  
  
After the nervous laughter had died down a little, Daisy moved from the door to sit next to her baby sister upon the bed. Was he your  
  
she told her, feeling proud of that fact.  
  
And, everything's alright after the argument you had? Daisy added with concern.  
  
Misty nodded. Looking back on itit was the best mistake I ever made. It helped us realise that we couldn't live without each other and how much we truly needed one another. I don't think we would've had the strength to admit our feelings if it hadn't happened.  
  
I'm so happy for you guysbut, even though you're gonna be here a lotI'll still miss you.  
  
Misty looked up at Daisy, shocked at her words.  
  
I mean it. I know that we rarely see eye-to-eye and haven't seen much of each other over those years you were away, but I guess that since you moved back, I've kinda gotten used to all four of us living together again. It's gonna be a littlejust the three of us again.  
  
I know what you mean.  
  
Daisy then did something that surprised Misty even more than her previous admission. She pulled her into a light hug, one that was awkward but also comforting. Misty returned the embrace.  
  
I'm so proud of you, Misty. Daisy stood from the bed and made her way across the room. You just make sure he treats you right, or he'll have to deal with your big sis, she kidded, winking before walking out into the corridor.  
  
Misty still sat in silence, still contemplating what had just happened, but her confusion didn't prevent a smile from spreading over her lips. Daisy had never acted that way towards her. Maybe things were beginning to change in more than one area of her life.  
  
Everything okay? she heard Ash ask her as he arrived back.  
  
yeah. Everything's great.  
  
He bent down to grab the final large box as Misty slung her bag over her shoulder. That seems to be it.  
  
she answered, giving her old room a last glance. Oh, except this, she exclaimed, knelling on the bed and snatching her Pikachu cuddly, the one that wore that very familiar baseball cap. she beamed happily.  
  


*********

  
  
Ring ring. Ring ring. Phone call, the computerised female voice called out, causing Ash to jump up from the floor of their bedroom, setting the objects he had been sorting back into their box.  
  
Hitting the answer button, the screen faded from black to show the person on the other end. Hey, Brock. I've been meaning to call you, Ash greeted excitedly.  
  
However, Brock just stared at him for a moment, confused by the cheery persona his friend was radiating. Have I missed something? Last time we talked you were totally in the dumps. Now you look like you're on cloud nine.  
  
I certainly feel like I am, he sighed.  
  
  
  
Ash felt arms wrap themselves around his waist and a chin rest upon his shoulder. Hiya, Brock, Misty chirped.  
  
Brock expression changed from confusion to one of complete perplexity. He looked from Ash to Misty and then to Ash once more. did I miss something?  
  
Heh heh, definitely Ash answered.  
  
What's going on? he almost demanded.  
  
Ah, well, we're Misty told him, never taking her eyes from Ash's.  
  
Brock felt his mouth fall open.   
  
Ash returned. And we're in the middle of moving in together.  
  
His mouth gapped even more. Moving in? Have I been in a coma or something?  
  
I know, it's a little fast, butwe know it's right. Misty's eyes were still focused upon her lover, awarding him with her awe-inspiring smile.  
  
Brock shook his head, feeling his bafflement fading away, and, instead, gave his friends a joyful grin. that's great, guys. You just give me a bit of a shock there. Ahwhen did this happen?  
  
The day after you were over, Ash informed him. We met up and talked about what happenedand realised we had no reason to blame ourselves for it and that there was nothing wrong.  
  
Wow, guys. I'm so happy for you. I've been going out of my mind with worry about you too.  
  
Well, you don't need to worry anymore.  
  
I can see that, he grinned.  
  
Misty turned momentarily from the two men, looking back into the room she had just left. I better finish unpacking. There's still so much of it to do. I've got classes all day tomorrow so want to get rid of it all tonight. She focused her attention back on the video screen. But how about we get a few of the guys together and do something this Saturday? You up for it Brock?  
  
Oh, you know I'll be there.Great, I'll see you then.  
  
Bye, Misty.  
  
Buh-bye, Brock, she called as she strode off back into the bedroom.  
  
How a few days can change your life, eh Ash? he contemplated once Misty vanished from his sight.  
  
Yeah. I still can't believe it. I have to kick myself sometimes just to jog my memory. It just doesn't seem like it could be real. But it is. She loves me as much as I love her. We've both had these feeling inside us for so many years. I guess that night they finally took over us.  
  
Thanks for waiting so long to tell me, man. I've been in a total panic.  
  
I'm sorry. We've just been so busy. I didn't even get the chance to tell my mum until yesterday.  
  
I guess I can find a way to forgive ya.  
  
Thanks. Buteverything's great now. Ash's cheeks reddened slightly. And don't worry. She'sshe's not pregnant, and... he directed his vision away from his friend, feeling suddenly awkward. we're making sure we're careful, so you don't have to worry about that. We both panicked so much that first time that we weren't prepare to take that chance again.  
  
Good, good, Brock uttered along with a sigh of relief. So, how far along are you with unpacking?  
  
Quite a bit now. Almost finished, but we keep getting distracted, either coming across something interesting orby each other.  
  
Brock raised his eyebrows slightly. I can guess.  
  
Ash replied nervously. "And...and thank you, Brock, for helping me that night. I think I was just starting to go mad 'cause of everything that was happening. I...I thought I'd lost her."  
  
Brock smiled. It was no problem, Ash. I care about you kids and am glad you've been able to work through all of this." Brock paused momentarily. "Ah, does Misty know that you told me?"  
  
"Yeah, but don't worry. She's okay with it."  
  
"Good. Well, I better let you go help her. I'll call tomorrow night about Saturday.  
  
Great. Talk to you then.  
  
And good luck, Brock ended with a wink.  
  
And with that, the line went silent. 


	9. Epilogue

**Too Far?  
  
** **By cultnirvana  
  
** **  
** **********Epilogue***********

  
Ash looked down upon Misty's sleeping form.  
  
She was so adorable as she slept. Her hair spread out in all directions over the pillow, her flannel, sky-blue pyjamas hanging lightly upon her frame, her lips parted, exhaling quietly. She lay upon her side, cuddling Pikachu, his Pokemon clearly content to be held within her welcoming arms.  
  
The scene was so idealso perfect. Its beauty had kept him awake for several hours. He just couldn't find the desire to allow his mind to give itself over to his dreams when his greatest fantasy was lying there in front of him, his arms draped around her.  
  
But his love for her wasn't the only thing that was disrupting his sleep that night. A few days ago, consumed by his love for her, he had convinced himself she was now invincible, and could cope with any heartache that came her way. But now, with a level head, the more realistic and pessimistic side of his being had begun to panic.  
  
As she had informed him herself, she may, at some point in the future, feel her resolve slipping once more, plunging her back into her old dark cycle. That element of her psyche could never be erased. Although he knew he would be there to help her in anyway possible, as he had been before, the chance of a recurrence terrified him.  
  
Those months had been the worst of his life. The empathic feelings he had experienced had almost crushed him. If that period had been so traumatising to him before their relationship had extended past the best friends' stage, what would be the effects be now with their new level of intimacy? How would it affect him after they married? After they had children?  
  
He shook his head, trying to break his focus. How could he be thinking of himself? If she relapsed, she would be the one suffering most, not him.  
  
No. If it all happened again, he didn't care about how it would affect him. That didn't matter. She would be the only important one.  
  
And they would get through it. He would make sure of that. Nothing was allowed to hurt his redheaded angel. Nothing.  
  
He had to push these thoughts from his mind. If those events did ever repeat themselves, he would think about it then. Now everything was blissful. He didn't want to tarnish that by thinking about what-ifs.  
  
He traced his hand down her arm and interlaced her fingers with his. His gentle touch was enough to wake her, making her shiver slightly. Her eyes began to flicker open, her aqua orbs instantly focusing upon him.  
  
she spoke though a yawn.  
  
  
  
With the back of her hand, she rubbed her eyes and studied the clock on the bedside cabinet. Why are you still up? It's after three and you have work tomorrow.  
  
I know. I just couldn't sleep.  
  
Why not? she sleepily asked, resting her head once more upon her pillow, closing her weary eyes.  
  
Just couldn't stop staring at you.  
  
With a blush and a giggle, she said, When did you become such a romantic? I thought you hated all that mushy stuff.  
  
Guess it's your influence. I didn't care about it til I fell for you.  
  
Heh, I'm a good influence, then.  
  
Just don't tell anyone about it.  
  
What, you scarred your masculine appear will be damaged? she teased. She opened her eyes briefly, only to meet his annoyed expression. I promise. Now you promise me that you're going to go to sleep. It's hard enough to get you up in the morning after you've had a full night's sleep. I don't want to think about waking you on only a couple of hours.  
  
Okay, I'll try.  
  
Don't try, just do.  
  
He pulled himself a little closer to her, his face so near that he could smell the fragrance of her hair. Love you, Mist, he whispered into her ear, but he received no response. Lifting his head slightly he took in her features.  
  
She was already asleep, her light snoring becoming audible.  
_  
She must be tired after all that packing and unpacking today,_ he mused.  
  
Today. Today, they had taken the second giant leap in their new relationship, mere days after they had taken their first. Or was it the third? Wasn't that night almost two weeks ago the first?  
  
After a few moments, he didn't care. His eyes were closing and his thoughts were becoming jumbled with the first glimpses of dreams.  
  
_It doesn't matter._

  


*********

  
_Well, there we go. The end to another fic. Sorry this bit took so long to finish. Just been bogged down by so much stuff.  
  
But good news is that I have my Pokemon site up, complete with finished forums. I'm hoping to add a fanfiction section to it eventually as well. So, I hope some of you guys visit. I've put so much work into it (pokemon.raging-otaku.com).  
  
I have another few stories planned, and started working on one of them again (have been writing it for a long, long time) about half an hour after I finished this. So, I may actually have another fic up at some point soon, so keep a look out.  
  
Thanks loads to Silent Sigh for his vigilant work making sure that my fics are up to standard, and please R&R. And to everyone who has reviewed, thanks loads! I've reached a new record!!!! I wonder if I'll get 150 by the end. Hehe, don't worry, I'm joking. But it would be nice *wink wink*._  
  



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